Home » Gate Guarding » Year in Review Part 11 – That’s What I Like About Texas

Year in Review Part 11 – That’s What I Like About Texas

Texas: It’s like a Whole Other Country

This is the Texas state slogan used on the official web site of the Office of Economic Development and Tourism. And they aren’t kiddin! 😀

I became a Texas resident in November, but I’ll never be a Texan. You can’t become a Texan. You’re born a Texan.

After Shiner, we moved about half way between Smiley and Nixon. We had some grand adventures there but before I start into all that, I thought I’d add to yesterday’s post on Texas Speak by talking about how colloquialisms come into play when ordering fast food down here.

For starters, Sonic is the burger king in rural Texas. In Nixon, they were laying odds on whose well would hit first so they could buy a Sonic Burger franchise. I had my first Sonic burger yesterday. It was a tight squeeze, getting the dually into the little drive up slot (like at the A&W’s back home). The girl on the intercom asked if I wanted mayo or mustard. Really threw her when I requested ketchup (she decided to add the mayo and mustard anyway).

Dine in or take out, if you’re in a rural area, forget Chinese or pizza, it’s tacos, fajitas and beer.

By the way, wine is wimpy down here. Texans drink beer. Even though wine has almost 3x the alcohol content of beer, it’s a sissy drink. If you insist on ordering it anyway, unless you see it poured, count on it coming from a box. And remember if you do have a beer, it’s illegal in Texas to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing. I’ve read this in multiple searches of Texas laws.

But mostly Texan’s seem to love their DQ’s and DQ seems to really love Texans. If there’s a Starbucks on every corner in Portland, there’s a DQ in every incorporated town in Texas.

Back in late February, when it was already about 85 degrees, I was in Nixon doing the laundry and I stopped at the DQ for something to drink. I ordered a diet soda.

No, ma’am, we don’t have that here – you’ll have to go across the street to the Super S.

Moving from Iowa to Oregon, I’d just transitioned from pop to soda. I’m thinking that I’m closer to Iowa now, maybe they call it pop here? So I tried again.

May I have a diet pop?

No, ma’am, we don’t have that here either – you’ll have to go across the street to the Super S.

For a moment it gave me pause. Maybe all they serve is water and sweet tea (in a year, I’ve never seen any unsweetened tea on a menu)? Then I took a closer look at the menu. They had diet Coke listed. Maybe they were out. I gave it one last try.

May I have a diet Coke?

Sure ma’am, what size are you wantin?

I learned a valuable lesson that day back February. All soft drinks in Texas are called Coke. I still have no explanation for this but it’s an indisputable fact. How would one order something else, like a 7-Up? I posed this question on Fork back in February and John kindly provided the answer:

OK…how to order a 7-Up in Texas…
1.) Sit down at the booth or table.
2.) When the act of sitting is complete, remove your hat, use it to dust off your pants, half say/sigh “shooooey, it’s hot out yonder.”
3.) When your waitress/waiter comes up and asks, “How are ya?” You say “Fine ma’am, and you?”
4.) His/her response will likely be something like, “perty good” or “finer n’ frogs hair.”
5.) He/she will then ask you “What kind of Coke do you want to drink today?”
6.) This is where you tell her/him that you would like a 7-Up.

Thanks, John! That’s just perfect! 😀

There are more DQs in Texas (600+) than in any other state. Towns that don’t even have a grocery store have a DQ.
~

Texans have a special relationship with Dairy Queen. And the feeling is mutual. There’s a special Texas motto: DQ, That’s What I Like About Texas!

There’s an entire separate That’s What I Like About Texas menu. On it you’ll find things like: TexaSize your soft drink or fries and Texas DQ Add-Ons like Jalapenos and Chili.

There’s a special sandwich called Dude – Chick’n Fried Steak.

There are Texas T-Brand Tacos, 3 for $3.69.

And there are the Country Baskets. You can order Steak Fingers or Chick’n Fingers. Both come with Texas Toast and Crispy Fries and a uniquely Texas dipping sauce: Gravy!

There are 550 Dairy Queens outside of the United States and Canada. There are DQ’s in 19 countries including 145 in China and 219 in Thailand. I don’t know how they’ve customized their menus, but in the US, nobody has branded DQ like TX.

Next time you’re in the Lone Star State, you might want to say it loud and proud: add a little Texas style eatin’ to my soft serve!

In this post and all my posts, my observations are limited to very rural Texas and they don’t necessarily apply to city life in say, Dallas or San Antonio or Houston. Cities have their own truisms. My experiences are all small southern town Texas.

I do know that in Houston, it’s illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday; and you aren’t allowed to buy beer on Sunday after midnight but it may be purchased on Monday!?

Clearly, even after a year, there’s still a lot I don’t understand. I’ll end this post with the ever popular bumper sticker: “Everything is more Texan in Texas”.  I don’t really get it, but then, I’m still a Yankee.

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