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Wanted:Women between 30-60

“Are you a woman between the ages of 30 and 60 with noticeable fine lines and wrinkles?

“If you answered “yes”, then we’re looking for you!”

I fit the category, right age with noticeable wrinkles and they’re looking for me.

One of the joys of a DVR is that I rarely see a commercial. I suppose I miss out on much of our contemporary culture by not watching commercials. I’m certainly not getting cutting edge fashion tips from the guys on the oil rig.

I’ve always hated commercials, but I know lot’s of people love them. Many claim to watch the entire Super Bowl just for the commercials. An aside on Super Bowl commercials: in 2010, the average cost of a 30-second commercial for Super Bowl XLIV (according to CBS) was approximately $2.5-2.8 million. Incredibly, this doesn’t include the fees for actors, equipment, ad agencies, directors, crew etc… The estimate for the cost of 2011 Super Bowl commercials is $3 million.

Does this seem at all crazy to anyone but me?  The fact the US Census Bureau spent 2.5 million on a Super Bowl commercial astounds me. The Clydesdales might prompt people who drink beer anyway, to go to the frig (although I doubt it swayed the brand-loyals), but does the Census Bureau really believe advertising on the Super Bowl will cause people to answer their door bells or, more importantly, that that’s a great way to spend our tax money? This could lead to a rant and rave.

I like Betty White and I like Snickers (5 out of 6 national polls ranked the Snickers commercial #1 this year). Betty White is 88 and is making her second fortune by capitalizing on being old. If you watched the Oscars, you saw multiple examples of Face-lift Syndrome: Hollywood Frozen Face Fatalities.

I’m willing to stand alone on this one. I don’t like commercials. I don’t like the messages which almost always imply how uncool I am and how a car, diet, make-up, beer, pill, shampoo etc… will transform me into the person I should want to be.  Tonight, while I was making coffee, I accidentally watched a commercial and found out that, once again, I’m underachieving. The person I should want to be is: younger.

The voices were talking to me and this is what they said:

“There are some things in life that are just too good to wait for, like opening gifts and vacation and, of course, looking younger!”

“I just smooth the Instant Effect serum on my laugh lines like this (the model demonstrates) and Voila! I feel the firming instantly and in just 90 seconds I watch the lines disappear from view!”

I wonder if more than the laugh line disappear from view.  What are we really hiding by removing all the character from our faces? Were we really so very happy when we were young? Most people that I’ve talked to that are over 50 say, “If I only knew then what I know now…” But we didn’t.

There has to be some strain of delusion that makes us think we can have the wisdom of age and the look of youth. It’s incongruent. Why would we want to look like we haven’t experienced a full life? Joy and sorrow both leave their impressions on the face. I think that’s what makes someone beautiful.

Google “How to look younger”. It takes 15 seconds to get 10,500,000 results. I don’t get it. It must be because I don’t watch enough commercials. I always thought Mark Twain was right: “Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.”

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