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Brown Turns Right

I read  tonight in The Business Insider that UPS drivers never turn left.

However circular this might seem, it works for Brown.

Although this isn’t news (UPS has had the software package since 2006) it’s still apparently news worthy.

Trucks and turns interest me, living as I do, in a high traffic area where, on a good day, the trucks pass about 10 feet from our door. Some days they turn a little tighter.

As it turns out, both UPS and the state of New Jersey, frown on left turns.

I’m uncertain why New Jersey prefers right turns and jughandles, but UPS has done their research: right turns save miles and money. These results seemed so remarkable that an experiment was done by true scientists: the Myth Busters. They concurred. It pays to keep turning right.

Bob Stoffel, Senior VP of UPS says his engineers map out every route and provide right-turn only directions to their drivers.

Mr. Stoffel states that this strategy shortened their routes by 20.4 million miles last year alone.

I’m thinking that it may be because they would have had to eliminate deliveries on all one way streets?

They would certainly have to avoid all oil rigs. I see a lot of trucks and I’ve never seen a UPS truck at a rig site.

You may be wondering why this UPS strategy works?

Mr. Stoffel has several answers to that question.

He says that turning right decreases safety hazards and delays.

We do have safety hazards.

This particular truck turned left and drove on our carpet, missing Harvey (not Henry, he was inside) by a hare.

In addition to decreasing safety hazards, Mr Stoffel offers other reasons for no left turns.

‘Jutting out into traffic is a good way to get side-swiped, especially when driving a big truck.’ When he refers to big trucks, he means UPS trucks.

When I refer to big truck, I mean trucks where the tires are taller than me. Back to the jutting out problem.

We did have a jutting out situation here just the other day.

This truck was stuck going in two directions at the same time.

I’m not sure if you can tell from the picture, but yes, this is one l-o-n-g connected unit!

Mr Stoffel also stated that their studies have shown that ‘if a driver is stuck waiting for traffic to pass with a left blinker on, it’s going to set him back’.

I would have to say, not much sets our drivers back. I have the feeling they feel fairly free to assume the right-of-way a good portion of the time.

Heidi maintains the practice of always parking bedside a vehicle nicer than the one she drives because she says they’re less likely to ding your door with theirs.

A similar principle holds true with our truckers, except in reverse.

They can drive in any lane they want. They could bounce you like an armadillo without even getting a scratch. They are the true road warriors.

In Texas, BIG trucks rule; it really doesn’t matter which lane they’re in.

I don’t know what  Brown can do for you. But I’m pretty sure that if the left hand lane is clogged up in Texas, it probably isn’t Brown. It’s likely one of ours.

Harvey and his umbrella suffers another near miss as he guards the carpet

As was so poetically stated by the man who now drives a truck but who, as a boy, rode a bicycle in the sky and ate Reece’s pieces with E.T. :

“I have horses, I drive a truck, and I wear cowboy boots. First I’m a Texan.”
~ Henry Thomas

Guess that about says it all.

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4 thoughts on “Brown Turns Right

    • Thanks for reading and for commenting. I’m glad to know what people want. I’ll do an entire day just in pictures for you next week. 🙂

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