My son is a Political Science professor at TCNJ. I generally avoid anything political here at Fork. I do find, though, that I’m leaning more and more towards the left, literally.
When you’re a gate guard on a drill site, you never know exactly where your home is going to land or on what. Ideally, you park on a pad, but not all that often.
We had a pad once. They spread it and moved us on it 5 minutes later. We were perfectly level for a day. Then we began to tilt to the left. Every few of days we made adjustments. First it was the hydraulic jacks; next the universal bright yellow Camping World leveling blocks; then, spare boards from the site; and finally JoJo and a shovel.
Now we’re in a wheat field. Once again, we’re leaning left.
You know you’re a little off balanced when:
You don’t have to plug up the sink to do dishes because the water won’t drain
Your bathroom door won’t stay shut
Your shower door won’t open
Your brownies are a 1/2 inch thick on one side and 2 inches thick on the other
Your dinner is which ever food item you catch first when you open the frig
You hold you head at a permanent 10 degree angle, even at the grocery store
You sinus pills keep rolling off the counter into the dog’s dish
Your cabinets are inhabited by poltergeist, randomly flying open while you’re knitting
You can take a bath in the shower (if you can get the door open) and you don’t have a tub
You shut the door in your own face
You can’t get your front door open
or equally inconvenient
You can’t get your front door closed
These last two have been the most problematic for me. It’s not good getting stuck inside. This happened to us in Tilden. Heidi and Henry had to crawl out the window.
In addition to not being a natural knitter, I’m amazingly un-mechanical. I’m a scotch tape person. If I can’t fix something with scotch tape, I will, in an emergency, resort to duct tape.
Since being a gate guard requires that I go outside a lot, tape didn’t seem like a great solution.
I finally found something productive to do with my yarn.
At first, I just tied it to the hooks we keep our keys on, but they’re only tacked in and it was windy.
You know the idiom: everything but the kitchen sink?
Well, of course, that’s based on the idea that if you brought lots and lots of things to someone, a kitchen sink is one of the last things you would bring because it is difficult to move. There are even harder things to move, like a bathtub, but the sink saying is the one that caught on.
Putting this sage bit of wisdom to work, I tied the yarn around the kitchen sink (faucet). At first, each time the bell went off, it was like a ribbon cutting ceremony.
Eventually I got my loops just right and could slip them on and off to get out.
When the traffic died down, I looked at all that I’d accomplished and I was very proud! What I lack in skill and talent, I try to make up for with great enthusiasm!
Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected. ~ William Plomer