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Leaning Left

My son is a Political Science professor at TCNJ. I generally avoid anything political here at Fork. I do find, though, that I’m leaning more and more towards the left, literally.

When you’re a gate guard on a drill site, you never know exactly where your home is going to land or on what. Ideally, you park on a pad, but not all that often.

We had a pad once. They spread it and moved us on it 5 minutes later. We were perfectly level for a day. Then we began to tilt to the left. Every few of days we made adjustments. First it was the hydraulic jacks; next the universal bright yellow Camping World leveling blocks; then, spare boards from the site; and finally JoJo and a shovel.

Now we’re in a wheat field. Once again, we’re leaning left.

You know you’re a little off balanced when:

You don’t have to plug up the sink to do dishes because the water won’t drain

Your bathroom door won’t stay shut

Your shower door won’t open

Your brownies are a 1/2  inch thick on one side and 2 inches thick on the other

Your dinner is which ever food item you catch first when you open the frig

You hold you head at a permanent 10 degree angle, even at the grocery store

You sinus pills keep rolling off the counter into the dog’s dish

Your cabinets are inhabited by poltergeist, randomly flying open while you’re knitting

You can take a bath in the shower (if you can get the door open) and you don’t have a tub

You shut the door in your own face

or worse

You can’t get your front door open

or equally inconvenient

You can’t get your front door closed

These last two have been the most problematic for me. It’s not good getting stuck inside. This happened to us in Tilden. Heidi and Henry had to crawl out the window.

A couple of nights ago it started getting chilly around 11. I got up to shut the door and, nope, couldn’t do it. It was one of two nights this week where it actually got down into the 40’s.

In addition to not being a natural knitter, I’m amazingly un-mechanical. I’m a scotch tape person. If I can’t fix something with scotch tape, I will, in an emergency, resort to duct tape.

Since being a gate guard requires that I go outside a lot, tape didn’t seem like a great solution.

I finally found something productive to do with my yarn.

At first, I just tied it to the hooks we keep our keys on, but they’re only tacked in and it  was windy.

You know the idiom: everything but the kitchen sink?

Well, of course, that’s based on the idea that if you brought lots and lots of  things to someone, a kitchen sink is one of the last things you would bring because it is difficult to move. There are even harder things to move, like a bathtub, but the sink saying is the one that caught on.

Putting this sage bit of wisdom to work, I tied the yarn around the kitchen sink (faucet). At first, each time the bell went off, it was like a ribbon cutting ceremony.

Eventually I got my loops just right and could slip them on and off to get out.

When the traffic died down, I looked at all that I’d accomplished and I was very proud! What I lack in skill and talent, I try to make up for with great enthusiasm!

Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected. ~ William Plomer

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11 thoughts on “Leaning Left

  1. Pingback: LinkedIn … More or Less « FORK IN THE ROAD

  2. Had a campsite earlier this year where a tree was removed. They filled the hole and we were fine for a week or so. Rains came and the earth settled and compacted under our rear wheel. Figured we’d fix it it the a.m. Woke up to a cracked window in the rear of our motorhome. We don’t sit crooked anymore. Glass is too expensive!

    • Darla – Oh, gosh! I’ve never hear of a window cracking and we’re starting to lilt again… and there’s finally rain in the forecast… Hmm… Maybe tomorrow we’d better take a shot at leaning a little more right. Although I wrote this post 4 months ago, your comment just came in and once again, we’re leaning left! Thanks for the input! 😀
      ~ Debbie

  3. What would happen if you ever started leaning right???
    I suppose experience, wisdom and ingenuity would prevail as long as it is not too far right (or left !).
    This from the left coast, which tends to lean right in the center. Can you lean to the center?;; How would that be…implosive?
    I cannot believe how you continually tackle all new life experiences with so much originality and pass this on in a wonderfully humorous and enlightening format for all us “blog followers” to experience .
    That’s my CUZ!!!

    • Boy am I glad you figured out how to comment again! More! More! 😀

      Did you know that a ship which floats on a perfectly even keel can be almost impossible to steer? According to “Salty Dog Talk”, it’s customary to trim slightly by the stern.

      So I guess the lesson is, if it’s that easy and even, it’s hard to steer and hard to move forward. Hmmm. Maybe we’ll just stay a little tipsy!

  4. Well I see we are not the Lone Ranger!! We are leaning so much I almost fall out our door!! I tried crocreting (sp) a few years ago and it didn’t go well but I must admit I didn’t come up with a great idea for the yarn!! I just finally put it in the drawer!! Absolutely love your posts.

    • Jill – we could start a club: Life On An Slant! 😀 I appreciate your kind words a lot! There’s a fine line between fun and well… not so much. I never know which side I’m walking on.

  5. How about using a bungee strap with S-hooks on each end. Hook one to the key holder and the other over the door handle. Then, just unhook it from the door to get outside.

    • Hey there Miss Kathy! We’re semi-level now. Got a couple of 2×10’s at the lumber yard which they kindly cut for us. I can open and shut the door now, but it’s like being in a house on stilts… when the wind blows hard enough, I close my eyes and pretend I’m on a cruise ship! 🙂

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