Home » Gate Guarding » Things That Don’t Belong Together

Things That Don’t Belong Together

There are some combinations that  just seem wrong to me. I’d love to hear what you think. I’ll start things off with a few combos that popped into my head tonight:

Ignorance and Bliss: Absolutely not. Ask any Midwesterner who, like me, has spent 6 hours surf fishing in the ocean on a cloudy day (of course this may fall under the next pairing as well).

Common and Sense: Clearly an oxymoron.

Water and Popcorn: I have a  friend who drinks water with popcorn. I just don’t get it.Popcorn requires pop, or if you’re not from the Midwest, soda; or if you’re from Texas, Coke (the generic name for all soft drinks). I forgot where I was last week and ordered a medium pop at the DQ. The very sweet girl who waited on me said they don’t sell pop, but they might have some at the liquor store.

Black Cords and Cats: I use to run into this combination a lot before switching to blue jeans. I’d spend the day looking like a giant lint roller.

Reading and Driving: I’ve seen people driving while reading books, newspaper, magazines, Kindles etc… scary.

Weather and Forecaster:  Just kidding.  🙂

Mentos and Diet Coke: I take that one back, too. They won’t stay together but it’s great fun to watch!

If you follow Fork, these won’t come as a surprise. Here are some of the combinations that haven’t worked well for me since moving to Texas:

Scrambled Eggs and Prickly Pear Cactus: It was so nice of you Steve, I just couldn’t get past the texture.

Yarn and Velcro: I think this one is self-explanatory.

Caliche and Wind: If you don’t get it, just come on down!

Raccoons and Screen Doors: Honestly guys, wait for an invitation.

Tabasco and Pancakes: Check out Texas IHOPs.

Snakes and Trees: I’m just not coordinated enough to be looking up and down and walking around, all at the same time.

And tonight I have a new one to add:

Tarantulas and Crock Pots: This one requires a bit of explaining.

Most folks around here drive trucks, loud diesels trucks. Although lots of guys stop to talk, no one ever turns off their engine, so you spend a lot of time hollering back and forth.

If a guy turn off the engine, it almost always means he has something to show us or something to give us. Sometimes, it’s something really sweet like dinner or 4 dozen donuts. That’s quite a lot of donuts for 2 people so, of course, we gave them to the guys, still it was a nice thought.

You’ve already heard about the rattlesnake that got lost in the back of the pickup. That was an engine stopper for quite a while.

Tonight, Ron pulled up and turned off the engine. He walked around to the back of his truck and picked up a crock pot. I thought he was bringing dinner. But no, inside were 2 black tarantulas. He caught them, and a 3rd one that’s hiding in his truck bed, in the wheat field across the road.

I’m putting the picture I took at the very bottom so you can read this post without looking at it if you don’t care for spiders. I’m such an arachnophob that I’m slightly creeped-out by Grand Daddy Long Legs and they aren’t even real spiders, so it could just be me, but I don’t think tarantulas and crock pots belong together.

Are there any combinations that you’ve run across that seem a bit odd? I’d love to add to the list!


4 thoughts on “Things That Don’t Belong Together

  1. Pingback: The Drilling of a Well « FORK IN THE ROAD

    • John–Gate guarding has done marvelous things for us. I used to be so afraid of bulls I’d hardly be able to drive by one. Now I am still leery, but I can watch them graze outside the RV right below the window and not freak out. Debbie used to be terrified of spiders, but now she can take pictures of them–tarantulas?? This is quite the job. Who knew it would be like therapy? Take care in those storage units… spiders for sure!

    • Sorry John. I didn’t get much sleep today so I decided to take my first day off and not write tonight. Heidi and I have been working on cleaning up the from page. Every time I look at it to see if I like the changes, I see those darn spiders. I’m having daymares! 🙂 Guess I’ll be writing tonight after all!

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