Home » Gate Guarding » It’s On Like Donkey Kong

It’s On Like Donkey Kong

It’s on like Donkey Kong is a real expression. If you’re the right age, you probably already knew that.

According to the Urban Dictionary It’s on like Donkey Kong is a phrase that denotes that it’s time to throw down or compete at a high level; or that something is about to go down.

Back in the early 80’s,  Donkey-Kong swept the arcades. DK highlighted the adventures of a large ape named Donkey Kong and a plumber, Mario, who was constantly dodging fireballs and barrels thrown by DK.  In the sequel, DK had buddies.

With a one year old and another baby on the way when the game came out in 1981, I wasn’t into hanging out at arcades. I do remember seeing Donkey Kong at Chucky Cheese when the kids were a little older. I never played it. I just remember a lot of barrels, and jumping and rolling and shaking as Mario ventured into the native jungle of Donkey Kong and his fellow protagonists.

I hadn’t thought about Donkey Kong in a really long time.

It was around 1 in the morning when the RV started rocking. I looked out the front window at the tree (there’s only one), and could see that there wasn’t any wind. Still, the rocking continued. I’d done the research. I knew we  aren’t on a major  fault line.

The rocking was joined by thumping and soon there was a sound resembling a belt being lashed against the side of the RV. I looked out at the little mesquite tree, again. No branches were in reach. The night before, a  persistent, inebriated man with a large dog on a rope, came  pounding on the door at 3 am determined to get a job on the rig. It took me quite a while to convince him to walk home and sleep it off. So my guard was up.

I grabbed my camera.

Ever since my success in scaring away that raccoon that was clinging to the screen with one flash from my point and shoot, I’ve become overly confident about the protective powers of my Olympus Stylist. In retrospect, the pepper spray hanging by the door, or even my Grandpa’s cane might have been wiser.

As the RV continued to rock, Henry’s ears stood up. This is generally not a good sign. I walked to the door, camera in hand an pushed. Nothing. Something pushed back. In a rare moment of bravery and stupidity, I gave the door a mighty heave. As it grudging gave way, I tumbled out of the RV onto a very startled calf.

It’s on like Donkey Kong: they were everywhere and it was definitely going down. And just like Mario, I’d wandered into their jungle. There were Long horns and no horns, steers and heifers, brand new calves and teenage calves, too many to count.

And there was also Festus, the guard donkey, that lives with the cattle on this ranch. Festus is no ape. but he is fiercely protective of his herd.

Guard donkeys are fairly common around here. Did you know that donkey’s and mules have the unique ability to kick in all directions?

Festus is very people friendly and loves peppermints,  but in true donkey style, he hates wolves , coyotes and domestic canines (poor Henry – just add it to the list).

As I stood, dazed, in my white tennis shoes, faded jeans and white t-shirt, I apparently looked like an over-sized mobile salt lick, The young calves, having recovered from my startling entrance, circled and began to nose and lick me. I found this to be both bewildering and slightly unnerving. I felt like ET, except I already was home and apparently so were they.

I stood in the midst of the herd taking pictures.

By the way, in case you’re inclined to try my approach, cows aren’t the least bit deterred by a camera flash. They’re nothing  like the raccoons. Cows pose.

This became less entertaining when a teenage steer pulled off  the leather wheel and started to carry it to a more comfortable snacking location. After a brief tug of war, he grudgingly gave it up. Another inquisitive calf found my satellite cable to be extra tasty.

I was at a loss as to how to uninvite my curious visitors before they ate everything portable. I tried reasoning with them.

I eventually dispersed the crowd with my persistent waving and gentle shoving of the broom. That caused them to relocate a whole 20 yards away.

In the end, after I’d rescued two tire covers, 1 bird feeder and placed the ladder over the TV cables to serve as a cattle crossing , I came in and told the whole tale of how it went down to Henry. I told him: It’s on like Donkey Kong…


11 thoughts on “It’s On Like Donkey Kong

  1. Pingback: LinkedIn … More or Less « FORK IN THE ROAD

  2. Deb, the salt lick may work, but then the herd will want a drink of your water lol. They may then chew your water hose to get a drink! A sack of range cubes might do the trick. open the sack then lead them waaay away from your rig, one cube at the time, till you get a mile down the road, then throw all of them out on the ground and run away! Dont leave the sack in your truck where they can smell it or they will be back.

    • Charlie – so true! As is often the case, I seem to be losing some of my appeal over time. Our RV is only about 100 yards or less from their ‘watering hole’ so we’re learning to peacefully co-exist. Well, I am anyway. Heidi throw bowls of water on them when I’m sleeping. 😉

  3. Too funny Debbie. I would have liked a video of the whole thing. I can just hear you talking to them all. And Festus is a great name for a donkey. Kathy has great advice!!…… Stay cool..

    • Cath – Funny how little impact my verbal powers of persuasion have on a donkey! 😀 And the calves seem to really enjoy being talked to…

  4. Too bad someone didn’t video tape your ordeal. You probably would have won $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos!!!

  5. You big silly!!! It’s the fake grass their after. I see two of them standing on it. If you buy a salt lick at the farm store (get the brown one, it has minerals in it) they will leAve your cables alone. But truly very funny. I would have gone for a ride on Festus…..

    • Kathy – you always make me laugh! Honestly, the pretend grass being a draw never even occurred to me. I thought it was just my animal magnetism! 😉

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