Take the pause out of menopause and what do you get – Men O’!
I know this is true because it happened to me just last week. It was as if Neville had slipped on Harry’s Invisibility cloak and waved his wand at me. I went into the second-hand grocery store as a very hot, menopausal 54-year-old woman, and came out an adolescent male.
I’m confessing, but I’m not proud.
I blame it on a touch of hot flashing heat stroke.
As I’ve mentioned, our little Super S isn’t exactly a health food store with limp lettuce and apples that are already half way to sauce. Still, I’m not sure that excuses my purchases.
A 3 pack of BRAWNY paper towels – because they were on sale and I like the little tear-off sections
2 Hungry Man hamburgers – it was the only microwavable American entree except for the Lean Cuisines, which were $4 each, making them .50 a bite
A half-gallon of half-the-fat vanilla ice – because I was hot
2 cases of diet soda – to make floats so I wouldn’t eat too much ice cream
2 mini bowls of Kraft Mac and Cheese – because I like mac & cheese and they’re microwavable
I didn’t even remember the bananas, which I think, is what I went to the used grocery store for in the first place.
That’s another thing, I only think I know what I went to the store for…
In my defense, it was around 103 degrees, not counting the heat index. So it felt like 108 to non-menopausal, hot flashing women, which would not include the woman spraying herself in the face with her grandson’s squirt gun or the one who kept bobbing her head in and out of the frozen potato compartment. I knew instantly we were kindred spirits.
Back to my defense. Before going inside, I filled 1 dozen 1 gallon jugs of water at the outside 35 cents a gallon, probably recycled water machine. I started down the used produce aisle in a heat induced daze.
My Mom was a Home Ec teacher and a wonderful cook. I used to be a good, if rather un-adventurous, cook. Since it rarely cools down below 85 degrees at night, I suddenly can’t stand the thought of turning the oven on. Add to that, after working the night shift for 6 months, I’m still discombobulated and can’t seem to decide if I’m eating dinner or breakfast, or just having snacks.
About the Mac and Cheese. I used to love macaroni and cheese. I grew up on the homemade kind. I switched to Kraft years ago, but if you add some extra cheese etc… it’s not bad.
I figured the mini bowls would taste the same.
Not so much.
Here’s what you get for 220 calories. There were exactly 1 1/2 inches of mac and cheese in the tiny bowl after cooking. And, it tasted like,well, chewy Styrofoam I guess. I added milk and shredded cheddar. I now had 32o chewy cheesy Styrofoam flavored calories.
“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” ~G.K. Chesterton
I don’t think my shopping privileges have been revoked entirely, but I now go to the second-hand Super S with a list in hand, just like a guy.