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Holy Cow!

Holy cow! ~ Harry Caray

We’re a non-stop Halliburton shop tonight, so this will be a short post. We’re also under siege which means, while it’s been non-stop at the non-gate for me, it’s not been non-stop for Halliburton.

The resident bovines have chosen tonight to stand their ground. Literally. I don’t know if they’re simply tired of all the traffic or if they’re hungry or if – well, I guess I don’t know that much about cow mentality, but they seem to be forming a Union.

They generally gather around our septic trailer. This particular teenager is consistently distracted and spends most of his time licking the rope to the big green tank.

We coexist peacefully with them until they calves start eating our cable wire or satellite dish or sewer hose. Heidi has tried reasoning with them. Don’t mistake this look of satisfaction on Heidi’s face as a sign of victory. They remain impervious.

There’s nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows.  ~Russell Crowe

If they persist in nibbling on things we can’t afford to replace, Heidi fills her red plastic mixing bowl with water and tosses it on them. As hot as it is, you’d think they might like that, but no, not so much.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.  ~Proverb

To back up, it all started a few days ago as when they began gathering in large groups around the RV precisely 7:30 each evening. Since they consistently begin arriving at 7:15 and are all assembled by 7:30, I have to believe that this is an organized event. Entire families arrive. There’s a lot of conversational mooing.

This is a diverse and formidable herd. There are many Longhorns, Brahmas, bulls of unknown origin and heifers with lots and lots of calves. These are big cows. Big like horses. The backs of the Brahmas and the Longhorns are higher than my shoulders and I’m 5’6″. These are not the type I’d want to tumble out the door and land on (if you follow Fork, you know it’s been known to happen).

Tonight they make a rather daunting road block. The Halliburton drivers are bewildered. All night long, alone, in tandem or in groups, they’ve gathered in the road and on the sides, creating a complete impasse. They simply walk to the middle of the road and stay there. Horn honking has no effect. I’ve suggested I bring out the mixing bowl, but the drivers just laugh.

It’s 3:30 a.m. and everyone is tired. They’ve jumped down out of their cabs and are trying to reason with their roadblocks. We’ll see how that goes. A semi from Crawler Haulers came in earlier with a giant moving machine. I’ve really mastered the technical terms for the equipment after 8 months, as you can tell.

Maybe it’s a bovine re-locator. Sorry for the poor quality photo. I was in the restroom when the bells rang – of course.


If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.  ~William Lyon Phelps

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6 thoughts on “Holy Cow!

  1. Deb,,cows probably looking for water if they show up every evening. I bet if you go check there water hole, you will find it empty. Also blowing horn is not good. Most ranchers blow horn for cows to come to them for range cubes or just to look them over.If they have been handled using dogs,, a good dog like bark might send them away.

    • Oh Charlie – I’m certain you’re right. I feel so sorry for them that I don’t even try to scare them off unless they start eating US or our cables and wheel covers. And yes, they do seem attracted to the horn, even when it’s a semi! 😀
      Henry tries to act fierce in spite of his fear, but mostly just growls so softly they probably can’t hear it over the generator!
      Because he’s a pet therapy dog, I worked at teaching him never to bark. He hasn’t made the transition to his new role of a 17 watch dog yet! 🙂
      105 here today – how about you?
      ~ Debbie

  2. Bob – no, I can’t say I’ve tried singing to them. But if I did, it might scare them away. 😀
    I’m battling the young steer over my satelite dish again right now. Maybe I’ll go out and sing something like These Boots are Made for Walkin’…

  3. Fantastic post Debbie. You’ve captured the essence of the problem. We have a cow “situation” up here as well but our cows are about 1/2 the size of those beasts at your gate and therefore not as intimidating. Still, they can be a royal pain in the ___. Though some may disagree, I’,m beginning to think cows are evil creatures.

    • Bob – LOL! While I’ve never thought of them as evil (although I think Henry does) they are a bit of a problem. Other than the fact that I’m kind of intimidated by them (talk about a stare down -they always win), I wouldn’t mind so much if they didn’t bring the flies with them and if the young ones weren’t so intent on eating all our connections!

      • Hey Debbie……………have you tried singing to them? We must keep them away from our gate as they will jump the cattle guard and head on down the road. That’s not good.
        We tried so many things to run them off. Waving a rope, big stick or something noisy seems to work best.
        My wife actually tried singing to them. As she can sing fairly well, the cows seemed to like it and began showing up more often.
        The things we do………………………………LOL

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