Because Vicky asked and because I promised Mike a short post on this topic since reading Fork caused him to go into overage charges with AT&T, here’s why I have a gun. I’m not really the gun type, I have a gun, Just In Case (JIC).
Not being an expert myself, I’m including some quotes from others on this topic.
You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. ~ Al Capone
In England, if you commit a crime, the police don’t have a gun and you don’t have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say “Stop, or I’ll say stop again.” ~ Robin Williams
I don’t know about England, but this is Texas folks and everyone has a gun, or 5 or 6. For me, it’s a part of being a pretend Texan. If you’re a regular reader, you know it’s just a BB gun. A co2 powered BB gun, but still, just a BB gun. You have to admit though, it looks impressive.
You know that old saying “If looks could kill” ? Well, it applies here, since only its’ looks could kill. It might sting, though.
Remember the first rule of gunfighting… “have a gun.” ~ Jeff Cooper
Since moving to Texas, we’ve been told repeatedly to get a gun. I’ve discussed the logistical problem of this in previous posts. So I have a kind of pretend gun. I’ve never shot anything with it except a Pepsi can.
I’m not a natural with a gun. What I am is naturally clumsy, which combined with a gun, is awkward at best. For example, there was the time that Heidi was having, what seemed to be, a tense conversation with a tough looking character. I thought I’d just nonchalantly stroll by with Henry and make sure things were OK.
I stuck the gun in the back of my jeans like they do on TV. OK – I have no idea what compelled me to do that, but it wasn’t a great plan. Did I mention that I’m clumsy. Halfway down the two steps, the gun fell right out of my pants, scaring Henry before tumbling under the RV. By that time, Heidi and the fellow were laughing and chatting, oblivious to my intended intervention.
The only other time I’ve even touched the gun, except for an occasional caliche dusting, was during my 3rd straight night of a several pickups loads of locals pulling up just outside the gate, hollering and hooting and tossing beer cans. I was possibly too tired because I headed right for the gate with the BB gun in one hand and the camera snapping shots in the other. They peeled away. I think this was mostly due to the fact that a semi-deranged looking woman was taking pictures of their license plates.
We rely on more than just a BB gun for protection. This is the JUST IN CASE (JIC) closet just inside the door. It contains, from left to right LOWER LEVEL: ant traps, mouse traps, a toolbox, dog treats, THE GUN, wasp spray, 2 flashlights and a box of garbage bags. UPPER LEVEL: Oregon calendar, camera, Henry’s leash, keys, fly swatter, more keys, mace, binoculars and a coach’s whistle.
So, there you have it.
We’re prepared JUST IN CASE we have an onslaught, in correlating order, of: ants, mice, stubborn nails, visiting dogs (sales people and ranchers often bring their dogs), hooting and hollering folks, wasps or bees or hooting and hollering folks, things that move in the dark, reckless pieces of lost trash, homesickness (calendar), raccoons (camera cure), armadillos (the leash to keep Henry from chasing them), losing keys, flies, losing the other keys, inebriated late night callers, far away things that need identifying before reaching for any of the other JIC items and I’m not quite sure when we’d use the whistle for, but it seemed like a good idea.
Mike and Vicky – I hope this was helpful and remember:
A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. ~ Mignon McLaughlin