I try to avoid clichés, but there’s one I’ve taken to saying. I guess I’m a little behind the times since USA Today named It is what it is the No#1 cliché of 2oo4.
I’m not sure where I picked it up, or why I’m just now getting around to saying it, but I sure have been saying it a lot lately.
Running over actually. All over.
We’re lilting again so the water was all headed north.
At least it was fresh water. Or as fresh as it gets from the black tank out back. It had been a couple of hours since anyone had been in the bathroom. I know that because we watched DWTS and had a busy gate night (I’ll get to the reason for that in a minute). Anyway, I’m guessing the toilet had about a 2 hour head start.
I don’t know why the toilet had a mind of its own tonight but it took every towel in the house to catch up with it. As I was cleaning up inside, Heidi headed out to the dark, dark backside to open the grey water valve.
She screamed REAL loudly right away as she came nose to nose, in the dark, with a very Big Mamma Longhorn. This scared Henry and me but it really scared the poor cow who kicked up her heels and took off across the field.
This is a picture of the said cow from earlier in the day. She may be on the lookout for quieter pastures after tonight.
The water had run down through the floor into the underneath bin. Everything in the bin is in bins except the projector and CD’s we used for our seminars, which were in a canvas bag sitting directly under the small but steady stream of water. When I turned the projector on its side, a little trickle of water poured out. It is what it is.
While Heidi finished wiping down the bin, I decided I’d better take a look in the front compartment where we don’t keep much of anything. I was holding up the door in the dark, shining a flashlight around, looking in dismay at the mouse droppings, when Heidi rounded the corner from the dark back side and hit her head squarely on the door, falling back flat.
About that time the limo pulled up at the gate. Tonight was the night of the big party on the ranch.
Good thing those halogen lights are blinding..
Heidi said it jarred her teeth, but she took in stride (so to speak) and thought we should go in and start the wash. I wasn’t sure it was the best timing since running the washer in the RV is like being a chicken leg in a shake-and-bake bag. Around 11:30 I hit the pause button on the spin cycle and Heidi finally went to sleep after instructing me to keep a close eye on the renegade toilet.
I had the vent open above the toilet with the fan on. I was hoping that would help dry it out. But just a minute ago – no kidding – I heard this sudden, amazing racket. I went into the bathroom to find the floor once again wet, this time from a 2 minute torrential downpour, streaming through the vent. I could still see the moon and stars which made this extra surreal. It was like there was just one cloud and it chose us.
My face and hair got wet as I cranked the vent shut. When I came back to the computer, there was a moth in my coffee and Henry had thrown up on the rug. The coffee and Henry and the rug and I are all headed outside now. Oh, and that canvas case and the electrical cords, I left those outside on the bench to dry.
So, there you have it. Another action packed night in the life of a gate guard.
It is what it is.