Home » Gate Guarding » I Dress Like Steve Jobs

I Dress Like Steve Jobs

Lately, I’ve started dressing like Steve Jobs. I have no idea why. I work at night, so it may not be my wisest decision. Of course, I don’t wear the turtleneck. I do live in Texas.

Maybe I’ve taken to wearing all black because I don’t like making decisions? It could that after a year and a half of living in the South, I’m channeling Johnny Cash, who was the original Man in Black.

I own 2 pairs of jeans. I guess I’m saving the blue ones for special occasions and laundry days. Every non-laundry day, I don my black jeans and black t-shirt and black tennis shoes (with the glow in the dark, trim).

It’s always the badly dressed people who are the most interesting.Β  ~Jean Paul Gaultier

I’ve even switched to black earrings. They’re bigger, but blendier, so I’m not sure they’ll be any easier to find, but they’d be impossible to swallow! πŸ˜€

I have a lot of traffic at night these days. I maybe should rethink my wardrobe (I do have 3 other t-shirts to choose from). It’s possible that black isn’t the best idea when you have 100 ton trucks barreling at you in the dark.

Some barrel. Then there are some, like Steven, who works for Cajun Water Services. He came in so slowly that I had time to brush my teeth between the bell and his arrival. And, he apologized for kicking up so much dust. Nice guy. He’s a keeper cloner! Don’t we wish!

Mark Twain worries me. I don’t know whether to take comfort in this or not?

Clothes make the man.Β  Naked people have little or no influence on society.Β  ~Mark Twain

This quote came to mind because of the story Frank (not his real name just in case this gets him in trouble) told me last night. Frank got lost sometime between 2-3 a.m. He pulled up to the gate and waited… and waited. According to him, not only was the gate guard sleeping on the job, she apparently had done quite a bit of imbibing to carry her into dream land. I don’t know which company she works for. All I know is that if that’s the norm, she definitely should wear something, but probably not all black.

At least when my seemingly disembodied greying head, floats out to the road above the my bright orange vest, I know I’m there. πŸ˜‰

Security Vest Orange isn’t like Tangerine Orange or Cantaloupe Orange – it’s 60’s shag carpet Orange. I look like a cross between an escaped high security inmate and a Home Depot employee.

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.Β  ~Lee Mildon

I can only hope… πŸ˜€

46 thoughts on “I Dress Like Steve Jobs

  1. Just forgo clothing altogether, I’d say.

    Sure would give you lots to talk about and then the orange wouldn’t be so “Noticeable” πŸ˜‰

    And you would make your mark on society, regardless of what Mark Twain said πŸ˜›

    God Love You β™₯ And Thank YOU!!!

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  3. One more comment. You ARE going to write a book aren’t you? I wonder how George Bush would take the reality of his home state.

    • mel – Heidi is always bugging me about a book (bugs are BIG in Texas!).
      I don’t think so, but thanks for being so sweet!
      I’m pretty sure both of the Georges could write stories about Texas that are as ‘thick as the dew on Dixie’! πŸ˜‰

  4. I am in Blendier is a Great word! If my Kid can type things like: LMAO LOL and ROTFLOL (What? How to EVEN make sense of this silly stuff?)

    Then by golly blendier IS a word.

    This begs the question: can wearing all black (me too) be Blendier? What are we blending with? Mel can help out here: Sweetie chime in from Fashion Land

    can all black wearing people be blendier?

    I think the glowy shoes is a good thing: snakes fear day glo. Well, I just made that up but if I were a snake I would certainly beware of anyone wearing day glo.

    HEY! you could spray day glo paint on ALL your stuff! Then, if you turn out the lights, you could FIND everything!

    Oh we are too darn helpful and I am going to go tell my family about how much more blendier I am now than I was 20 minutes ago…

    I am LMAO !! Thank you!

    XO Jen

    • Hey Jen!
      I don’t know about you, but I’m blending into the night.
      It’s very, very dark when you live between Hochheim- population 56 and Concrete – population ?
      According to Wikipedia: “Concrete, Texas, WAS a town located in southwestern Guadalupe County alongside the present Farm Road 775.”
      My smart phone thinks I live in Concrete so maybe it has a population of 2 now?
      I like the day glo paint idea, but Heidi, I’m thinking, not so much…
      And my shoes certainly scare me so I’m hoping they’ll scare the snakes!
      My friend down in Tilden saw a rattlesnake under her truck yesterday. Maybe I should pass on my shoes – you know, like The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, except with shoes?
      Or do you think that would be a serious fashion faux pas? May have to check that one with mel.
      Sweet dreams, oh blendy one!

      • OH! I am laughing out loud! You are crackin me up!

        Sounds like Concrete is a Two Woman town. Who gets to be Mayor?

        darn. I thought the day glo idea would SOLVE problems.

        I am glad you are all blendier with the night. I LOVE the night sky where Juan grew up. I blend in 100% on the night of the waning moon. We don’t have rattle snacks but we do have bobcats and mountain lions and bears. I figure my jangly spurs scare them away. (not really I WISH I wore spurs…)

        I am not a fashion plate. That is Mels department. I think the Johnny Cash look is a go to look. (Jobs is OK but for the blue jeans. I don’t think Jobs ever did time or was a drug addict though. BUT jobs also couldn’t have sung Folsom Prison Blues or a Girl Named Sue..)

        Traveling shoes sisterhood, I like that, as long as a red hat is not involved. Black hat, you bet!

        Take Care my Friend!

        XO Jen

    • HA HA HA.

      Hmmm: Blendier: Fashion: To wear different shades of black. To mix NEW black clothes with black clothes you’ve washed a hundred times.

      While they are all Black Clothes, they are now in Blendier Phase.

      AKA Fadingly.

  5. Debbie, finishing all you Fork blogs – will now allow me the opportunity to exscape the computer room and try to go to bed before 3/4am. But since I work the night shift – it has been hard to get back in the habit of going to bed when “sane” people retire.

    Keep blogging – I’ll need something to read when we hit the gate in 2 weeks.
    With my limited internet service – can’t get on line until after 12am.

    • Mickey – whew! Glad you can finally get some rest!
      I can’t remember if you have a blog? If you do, will you send me the link?
      Boy, I hear you! I can do nights. I can do days. When I have to switch back and forth, even coffee, with or without Almond Joy coffee creamer – isn’t quite enough.
      Happy Easter to you. I hope these next two weeks are great fun. See back at the gate!

  6. Debbie, Mike Sweat’s post today inspired me to visit your blog. What a kick! Love your stories. Will be following Fork In The Road now. What a great humorist you are. And a great writer. I’m a bit of a card myself. It’s good to read someone else’s material! Really enjoyed your blogs. I’m already following Two Minutes. Great stuff. Thanks for sharing. You make me laugh. What an amazing and varied career you’ve had. Now that’s where we have some things in common. Some day I might share mine as openly and as humorously as you have. Great to meet you and I look forward to more good reading and more good laughs.

    • Hello Steven –
      Thanks for reading and my thanks to our friend mt for bravely going where few men take Ethel! πŸ˜€
      I’ll look forward to your future tales of tribulation and adventure.
      Thanks again for stopping by and leaving your calling card!
      ~ Debbie

      • What a fascinating life! You’re a gifted writer as well. And I love your humorous touch. That makes reading even more enjoyable. I look forward to reading more Two Minutes of Grace. BTW I rebloged your “Why?” Loved it. Thanks for sharing.

      • I think, hmm, this is the funniest one … then you write something funnier. OK, so, as you know Jen and i have lots of descriptive words for how great you are, but i’ve plum run out of adoration words that can continue to out-adore the latterest ? xo m

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  8. This am finished blogs from Dec. 2010 to present. Been RVing since 1970 and have had a few mishaps—but you and H & H have done it all that could possibly be done. I’m sure there is more mishaps waiting for you.

    Looking forward to getting back to work – can’t stand for you to have all the fun, now can I?

    Going to Ft.Worth for Easter with kids then back to a gate in Pearsall area.

    • Mickey – You deserve a prize or a massage or a vacation! I think I’ve written somewhere between 280 – 300 posts. I can’t imagine reading them all. Wow! I’m honored but you surely must be tired of me by now. I don’t write nearly as often any more so you’ll have a nice break! πŸ˜€
      Yes, we did seem to squeeze a fair number of mishaps into the first year down here!
      We’d had a rather RV experiences in Oregon and California for a couple of years prior to coming to Texas.
      I’m hoping we have plenty of adventures but fewer mishaps, eventually!
      Happy Easter!
      I’ll look forward to hearing about your gate tales.
      Safe travels,

  9. Debbie, i second the votes for blendier and blendy! Smart ladies can get away with making up words. It’s so hip πŸ˜‰

  10. You’ve always been big on words like ‘blendier’ and ‘blendy’.–at least you were when I met you. Not so much now, I guess. Have you stopped trying to bend in?

  11. It’s always the badly dressed people who are the most interesting. ~Jean Paul Gaultier.

    HE WOULD KNOW! Strange shite that man makes (See Madonna, however that was some of his better stuff …)

    Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. ~Mark Twain

    For a man with one, big, white suit … that’s saying … what exactly?

    Our only choices are men or naked? More black jeans with women wearing them!

    People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. ~Lee Mildon

    Still taking black jeans over Naked. Jeesh!

    Oh, and yes, clone the nice guy. You can wash your jeans before he gets to the gate. I need some black jeans.

    Thanks for making me smile … and a bunch of other folks smile. Much love, mel

    • Melis – Guess I should check my sources – I had no idea who Gaultier is. Of course that only makes the quote funnier to me.
      You always leave me smiling… and shaking my head! πŸ˜‰

      • JPGautier. One wacky dude. I love him though! Check him out if you don’t believe me. He IS capable of “doing” couture in a “traditional” way, but why bother if you can sell weirdness. πŸ™‚

  12. Hey Mike and Casey!
    I’m hoping my glow in the dark rimmed shoes don’t draw the snakes attention to my otherwise stealth bottom half!
    You’re right, I should get my little flashlight with the giant beam out and flash it at them! πŸ˜€

  13. I am now snorting with laughter, Debbie!! And I’m going with the Lee Mildon quote since my clothes are all old, but my smile is big and full of silliness. Of course Steven’s a nice guy (keeper/cloner)–we Cajun’s are big on nice and friendly, good music and food, and plenty of silliness. “Blendier” earrings–where ’bouts can I get me some a those?? God Bless you, Sister!

    • OK Caddo, yes, blendier is a made up word… but at least I didn’t send you so the on-line dictionary!
      Sylph? I’m going to have to start doing the New York Times Sunday Crossword, just to know what you’re talking about! πŸ˜‰
      Cajun food, Cajun music, Cajun friendliness – “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”

      I probably should have told the poor guy why I was taking a picture of his truck. I think he thought I was reporting him for some kind of level 2 security violation!

  14. at least the snakes can’t see you and if you shine a light in those speeders they will stop or wish the had.

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