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Leave Larry Alone

I’d start a protest, but I know, I’m too late. What’s done is done.

You’ve probably heard by now that they’ve messed with Larry. I grew up with Larry. I’m 55. Until 2012 Larry looked exactly like he did when I was 1.

I loved the guy dressed up in the Quaker suit with a wavy snow white barrister’s wig! His 80 30 year old manly boyish face beamed at me over 5 decades of hot steaming bowls of oats. I loved Larry like good kids love Santa.

The rosy-cheeked, white-haired man smiling out at you from the Quaker Oatmeal box is getting a haircut, losing some weight and dropping about five years from his age.

Known among insiders as “Larry,” the venerable Quaker man on the logo is getting a makeover… hoping to keep the 134-year-old brand “fresh and innovative,” says Justin Lambeth, Quaker’s chief marketing officer.Β  ~The Wall Street Journal

This is just wrong on so many levels.

If they wanted fresh and innovative, they should have gotten Zac Efron or Justin Bieber. They’re young, not a bit overweight and both clearly are open to having a hair makeover. Plus, it would have the added the health benefit of driving adolescent girls back to the breakfast table.

Instead, we have a pale young guy who looks like he was recruited to dress up for a campaign ad (note new RED background). It doesn’t get much more red, white and blue than Larry’sΒ new do.

They also removed his double chin and smoothed out the rolls and plumpness in his face and neck. Hmm…

We took about five pounds off him. ~ Michael Connors, Hornall Anderson’s vice president of design.

About 5 pounds? Seriously? About 5 pounds? These words clearly come from the mouth of a man who has never had a weight problem. You don’t lose a double chin and smooth out the plumpness by shaving 5 pounds. Believe, I’m an expert. More like 35, if you’re lucky.

Subtlety was a primary aim. The goal is not to have anyone notice that he is different. ~ Michael Connors

I’m sorry, Mr. Connors, but if you don’t want to be noticed, you don’t send out press releases. The next thing you know, they’ll be making the lovely circular canister into a more modern 2012 rectangle.

Clearly nothing’s scared. Soon there’ll be nothing fun left to wrap odd-shaped gifts in.

Larry now shows his shoulders, making him seem stronger and more vibrant. It’s the same neck, but the haircut makes him look thinner.

Alrighty then.

I would like to lose 35 pounds in the next few months. I was thinking of dieting. But that’s so Old Fashioned. Maybe I’ll opt for a hair cut and try to show a little more shoulder!

And one final note to my other all time favorite fellow: Pillsbury Dough Boy, look out! Trends being what they are, I fear a tummy tuck may be in your future.

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6 thoughts on “Leave Larry Alone

  1. Another friend had posted and I read Larry’s wonderful makeover. I too thought a whole new look might have been better than a little digital makeover. teehee

  2. Love this post, Deb! They really should leave Larry alone. It almost looks like they did some botox on the poor guy. What next? Will they give him a mohawk and a nose piercing? Where will it end?!?

    Ruth πŸ™‚

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