Home » Humor » Me and My Velcro

Me and My Velcro

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro. ~Dave Barry

OK, that would be me. I’m so old I remember when I was smarter than my phone! I’ll come back to that in a minute. These days, Velcro is my friend!

My relationship with Velcro has been evolving over past few years, in part, because I live in a rolling home and Velcro stops everything from falling off the walls.

~

But my true affinity for Velcro developed when I became a Top Secret Agent. There are certain things that SA’s need at all times: like a pen (which we SA’s lose like regular folks lose socks) and the exact time to the minute – no rounding. My watch only has a 12, 3, 6, and 9 so once again, Velcro came through from me.

Also, there’s the fact that as an SA, I work mostly in the dark. My eyesightย  and memory both hover around a 6 on the 1-10 scale. SA Heidi, who lives to problem solve, Velcro-ed all the small things she thought I might need to the inside of the drawers by the sink: Pencil, Marker, Lipstick (apparently considered essential for SA work), Visine, Glasses Cloth, and Dental Floss.

Unfortunately, we failed to take any Velcro with us when we went on our not top-secret vacation. If we’d only thought of pocket patches we would have been able to get black dress pants for $17 instead of $82.50! With Heidi driving and Henry and I syncing and singing, we made the trip to Tucson in good time (a 10 hour day and a 5 hour day).

As a matter of fact, we made such good time that we decided to try to get our shopping done early Saturday morning to beat the masses. Top Secret Agents in remote locations have very few shopping opportunities.

Someone wrote and asked if we TSAs have phones in our shoes? Unfortunately no, but we sure wished we did once we got to Tucson. We typically carry them hidden in our back pockets. H’s phone wasn’t quite hidden enough and we never once thought about Velcro.

On only the second day of our grand adventure, and our first day in a city, her phone was skillfully picked from her back pocket while we were perusing the sales racks at jcp (JCPenney). We were outsmarted by a Smart phone thief.

We went to jcp just to buy black dress pants for the cruise. We each got a pair from the drastically reduced racks and spent just under $40 total, which is pretty good shopping. That is until you add in the $125 insurance claim for the phone which meant we left jcp with 2 pairs of pants at the bargain price of $82.50 each.

Before leaving the city, we headed to R.E.I. where H bought SA pants that are full of pockets, some so secret that she didn’t find them for two weeks. And some so special that they securely fasten with, yes, Velcro!

It was an auspicious beginning to our adventure. You would think things could only look up from there. As it turned out, not necessarily…

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22 thoughts on “Me and My Velcro

  1. Velcro is awesome Deb! I don;t know how we ever survived without it…or cell phones…or DVD players…or laptops…or GPS systems…Or well you get the picture. But wasn’t it nice to live in a world where thieves never thought of breaking into your house to steal your rotary phone?

    • Hello Carol!
      How kind of you!
      I think it was time for me to move on to other topics anyway. There are plenty of folks who work for other companies that still write about the job for those who are interested.
      I mostly just like to tell stories so switching tracks is OK. ๐Ÿ˜€
      Thanks for continuing to read!

    • Hey Bobbie!
      Thanks for your enthusiasm! The clock is just a little $3 item from Walmart(I’m sure that doesn’t surprise you since it’s the only place we have down here to shop). Not only do we use it but so do the drivers so it’s pretty handy!
      They should have them in either the Sporting Goods or the Automotive Dept. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Oh dear, Debbie, do i want to hear the next chapter? How quickly did SA H get her SP back (smart phone). I must say, Don is quite the clever one. I was wearing jeans one day with smallish pockets. He recommended that i NOT put the phone in my smallish pockets. Good for DON, HOWEVER… velcro could have resolved that nasty pick-pocketing problem. RIIIIPPPPPP! I’d notice that, even in my aged years, slight of hearing and sight.

    Funny velcro. I love it. In fashion design school it was the anti-ch****! Truly … everything was “coutoure” (sp) … as i’m not fancy enough to spell coutoure, AND am a fan of safety-pins, duck tape and velcro.

    ANYWAY … i’m looking forward to Velcro: Part II: Living in the land of TSA!

    • Mel –
      SA H’s pocket was picked on Saturday and the replacement phone arrived at my sister’s house Tues night – we flew to Seattle on Wed! I should have taken some notes on the trip, since every day was an adventure, but I’ll write about a few that stand out. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. I want to thank our mentors in all things RV, Mike and Casey, for showing us that velcro tip with decorations for the wall. The lighthouse, which is a likeness of the one in Cape Blanco, is in my kitchen where I spend most of the day. Now when I think of the park at Blanco, I’ll also remember Mike and Casey and how they’ve helped us find an easy way to keep small things that we love ‘hanging’ around..

    I don’t expect you’ll keep the humor theme going with the vacation, by the way. Sometimes it’s easier to be funny about things that go wrong, than things that go right. Once I got over having my pride wounded (nobody wants to think they’re an easy target for pickpockets), I could just be thankful my wallet was in the front pocket where it should be. I’ve given up keeping anything in the back (except fat)!

  4. Oh I had forgotten how desolate those small Texas towns are. Thanks for reminding me as we head back!! LOL Sorry to hear about phone but it could have been worse. You might not have been able to find any pants and then you would have had a problem!! Great post.

    • Jill!
      Seriously, why won’t you write a blog?!?! You’re so much funnier than anyone I know!
      Yes, better to be phone-less than pant-less! ๐Ÿ˜‰
      And yes, do STOCK UP!
      H went to the store yesterday and the biggest box of powdered milk they had was the size of a little Grape Nuts box and cost $5 something… Glad I don’t like powdered milk! ๐Ÿ˜‰
      See you soon!!!!

  5. Oh no! I was loving all the neat uses for velcro .. .and learning .. .then the phone got swiped. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ You SA have to go through so much, even when off duty! Love you and thinking of you as you keep us dangling by velcro about what else happened!

    • Deb –
      Heidi kind of needed a new phone anyway – hers was a little fritzy. ๐Ÿ˜€
      I think the next story will be about going on a Bear hunt – but it’ll take couple of posts to tell it.
      I never write ahead and could use a new mental memory card so we’ll see.
      All is good, though!

  6. Another enjoyable read from my favorite comedy writer. You can see the fun even in a bad situation. When are you publishing your first book???

    • Oh Susan!
      I’ve been reading your blog!
      I can’t believe you fell on your face!
      I fall on my face all the time, but not literally.
      And you’ve kept your sense of humor. Now that’s telling!
      I keep trying to leave comments but E Blogger doesn’t like my URL.
      It didn’t even like me when I tried to just write as anonymous.
      Whether I can comment or not, I’ll be keeping an eye on you from now on!
      No book in the works (although Heidi puts the pressure on me from time to time). ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Thanks, though! You’re so sweet!

  7. Oh Shoot! You make even the negatives in life sound amusing (or is it that I’m easily amused??)–But serious bummer, about Heidi’s phone! Some people!! This SA would have gone on a not-so-subtle “tear” (you know how I get–well, you’ve heard, so that should be good enough…) God bless you big–love, sis Caddo, aka Agent Quicksilver

    • Hello Agent Quicksilver!
      The phone lift was a blessing because H really did need a new one but we couldn’t justify the expense – and – we were certainly never to put any cash or cc (or phones) in our back pockets the rest of the trip!
      It would have been so much worse if it had been a cc!
      Her replacement phone is swell so all is well!

      • Okay, I feel much better now–love hearing how God turns “yuck” into “YIPPEE!” (and a learning experience is always good…after the fact…)

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