Home » Humor » Black Friday Bites Back

Black Friday Bites Back

Black Friday bites – literally – back to that it a minute.

According to articles in USA Today and National Retail Federation, I’m an atypical American woman because:

  • I only own 4 pairs of shoes
  • I don’t like shopping.

As a full-time TSA, my shoes serve to get me out the door in under 10 seconds when summoned, so those highly coveted higher than high heels are out. I have two pairs of not very high heels that I only wear on vacation, one pair of sandals I’m saving for my future life at the seaside and a pair of Nike’s that meet my faster than fast need.

Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.  ~Erma Bombeck

I’ve never really  liked shopping. I like the giving part but not the shopping. I especially don’t like shopping in frenzied crowds. But for some (I think men should be included here, too) shopping, particularly during this time of year, is a competitive sport. They’re calling it Brick and Click.

Today is Black Friday – historically THE BIGGEST SHOPPING DAY OF THE YEAR. Some folks love it! I don’t get it, but that’s OK. I know they’ve Gotta Go.

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Black Friday, which I guess began yesterday, has not only claimed Thanksgiving but is stretching on through Monday (which already had its own special name). You can camp out overnight at the few stores that aren’t already open and be the first to race down the isles for a giant TV or a Furby. That’s Brick. Or you can shop on-line. That’s Click. Today you can shop on-line at places like CyberMonday.com, which will be offering a Deal of the Hour on Black Friday.

How weird is that? A site called CyberMonday.com featuring hourly deals on Black Friday.

I tried shopping on Black Friday –  once. This was maybe 10 years ago when it was safer. I stood in line forever to buy my Mom a present that she didn’t ever use. It was something for the kitchen that for some reason I thought she would like and would be worth the bruised ribs and the $8 I saved. It wasn’t.

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I honestly just didn’t have that keen eye and savvy killer instinct needed to be a successful Black Friday shopper. (Clearly, since I got up at 4:30, stood in line for 2 hours and bought one unwanted gift.) But for those of you who are keen on Black Friday shopping, I’m passing on this warning I just heard on the news:

“If you plan on shopping on Black Friday we urge you to leave your children at home to protect them from possible injuries such as being trampled or bitten.”

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Seriously? Well, something to keep in mind, all you Black Friday Brickers.

Only one shopping day left ’til tomorrow.  ~Author Unknown

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17 thoughts on “Black Friday Bites Back

    • Hi Janice!
      After watching the news Saturday I was more convinced than ever!
      Some folks do enjoy it though and I’m sure found some good buys.
      Just really doesn’t suit my extremely non-competitive personality. 😉

  1. I accidentally went out once on this day . ..because I really needed something and forgot all about it being the big shopping day! We all survived and I vowed to pay more attention in the future! haha! And I happened to meet someone else there who had stumbled into it too. 🙂 God bless you and your shoes, that do what you need them to do when you need them to do it! love you!

  2. Great post. I just don’t understand why people put themselves through that mess to the point they fight over items and people are warned to keep their children home.

    • Jill –
      I listened to people being interviewed after being trampled and they seemed to have had a good time. ;0
      Guess you and I will never be doing our part to boost the economy on Black Friday!
      The warning came from a station in San Antonio.
      Yesterday they did a follow up on a guy who pulled a gun in the parking lot of Sears (on Black Friday) to get a better parking space!? On-line shopping (which is a necessity here anyway) sounds better all the time!

  3. Well, if I needed proof that we’re sisters, this’ll definitely work! I’m sure I must have shopped on a Black Friday at some time in my life–but it’s so far back there, I don’t recall it. I’m not big on shopping–it’s not much fun when you have very little disposable income (that sounds less pitiful than “poor”, doesn’t it?!) Usually I go to Fred Meyer’s (dept store) on the first Tues of the month–because that’s when they offer the 10% Senior Discount (over 55). That’s it for shopping–other than my Safeway grocery trips. I confess it would be fun to shop, buy generous gifts for my friends, year round, if I were materially rich–but shop on Black Friday? That’s for truly psycho shoppers–camping out on the “bricks”, to get into a store the moment it opens, and max out your cards? Now, that’s just crazy, y’all!! God bless you big, Debbie–love, sis Caddo

    • Howdy Caddo!
      This is the first year I’ve heard major TV stations say to leave your children at home because someone might bite them!
      I thought that was possibly a little facetious and then I saw yesterday news clips of a lady biting a man’s hand, so maybe not?
      I miss Fred Meyer’s! When I lived in Oregon I wasn’t old enough for the ‘senior discount’ but I am now! 😉
      5 more years and I’ll see you on the coast, my friend!

  4. Contrary to recent writes, I also have no desire whatsoever to be found in a store of any kind on this crazed day. I’m becoming uncomfortable with just the increased traffic out here on the net… “Get out of this comment block, doggone you!!! I’m writing here!!!” Anyway, years of seclusion on a horse ranch tends to cause one to shy away from crowds… “Hey! Let go of this comment block, it’s mine!!!” The advise should be taken by all, leave the kids somewhere else… “OUCH! Could you please move to the next comment block, it’s not like WordPress has a ration on them!!!” Debbie, could you please park your gator in my comment block? Thank goodness Pot Pie stayed home today, these people are just plain rude! “I said get out of my comment block!!! It’s mine I say!!! Holy hole in the doughnut!” Blessings good friend!

    • Michael – really, truly, you and Pot Pie should start a second blog on the side.
      I’ve read your comment about 5 times and each time I laugh right out loud! 😀
      Blessing to you, too, my friend!

  5. Hi Debbie,

    I’m with you. I do not enjoy shopping and I’ve always avoided black Friday. I do however love to shop online, especially since we live in the boonies at our TSA. I do have more than 4 pairs of shoes though. 3 pairs of western boots, 2 pair of deck shoes, 3 pairs of tennis shoes, and a pair of sandals. Oh yes, and a pair of mud boots and a pair of hiking boots. Is this called a shoe fetish? Nah… not me 🙂

    How was that deep fried turkey? I’ve never eaten one of those…

    Vicky

    • Hey there, Vicky!
      I did a little research before writing this post.
      One of the articles I read had the number of shoes women own broken down by age groups. Teens, Young Adults and “the More Mature Woman” (I think they meant OLD but the age bracket was 35-50!)
      Anyway, women either never get rid of old shoes are buy a lot more as they age because they said the average teenage girl owns 17 pair – but by the time you hit the More Mature group the average is 40-60 pair!
      (and this wasn’t even a shoe company survey!)
      I’m not sure what happens after 50 – if they think we keep accumulating more or if we star to weed them out? 😉

      The turkey was wonderful! It was probably the most moist turkey I’ve ever had (we did take off the skin, though). There’s certainly a lot of turkey in the freezer! 😀

      • The turkey sounds so good, better than the smoked one. I loved it, but it really kicked Bob’s allergies up so he is staying away from the leftovers.

        I have a purpose for each pair of shoes, including one of the pair of boots. It’s main purpose is to wait in the wings and be ready when my current Fat Baby’s wear out. 🙂 Seriously, the hiking boots are for when we go to Moab, Utah and other places with great hiking. The dancing boots have slick soles for dancing. Duh! The 3 pair of tennies are because one is for working out here in the caliche. The second pair is too, just not as comfy. The third pair is to replace the first pair when they wear out.

        Sounds like I have a phobia of not finding my favorite stuff in stores. I do! Everytime I find something I really like, it gets discontinued. Why is that I wonder???

        That’s my story on shoes 🙂
        Vicky

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