Home » Gate Guarding » A Very Un-Shakespearean Comedy of Errors

A Very Un-Shakespearean Comedy of Errors

What is the course and drift of your compact?
~William Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors

It seems our course has run somewhat adrift of late. Picking up where I left off last time, I’m still on the rebound from the fluke of a non-flu bug. I think that I might have been nearly well yesterday, if not for another unfortunate chain of events.

I broke my toe once. I was on a beach in California looking for sea glass. I ran away from a wave right into a rock. I broke my 2nd toe which took the brunt of the hit because it’s longer, if not bigger, than my big toe. I share this only to preface what’s about to follow. Stubbing a toe which sticks out anyway, particularly underwater, seems understandable. What’s happened here, maybe a little less so.

By the way, it was a beautiful beach and I did find tons of sea/beach glass. If you’re terribly bored and are inclined to hunt, there are 15 obvious pieces of sea glass in this photo (green, brown, clear and blue).


The first time Heidi broke her toe, her little toe (this was years ago) she was at my house helping in the kitchen and she ran into my foot. At her request, I took her to the E.R. where the Dr pushed in back in place and taped it up. As it turns out, there’s not much else to be done with broken toes.

The next time she broke her toe – the same one – she was coming up her basement steps and somehow caught her little toe that doesn’t stick out at all on the step and broke it. She called me. I went over and, in an attempt to help, I accidentally set it by grabbing her foot too hard. She hollered and then I taped it up.

Every why hath a wherefore. ~ William Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors

Although I’m not questioning the words of the bard, night before last when Heidi broke her toe – same one again – going up the steps (inside), I began to wonder about the why and wherefore. Somehow, she snagged it on the step, even though her little toe still doesn’t stick out at all, or didn’t until then. Not appreciating my last effort, she decided to set it herself. She hollered (only a little) this time and I taped it up.

She went to bed with her toes taped and wrapped in an icepack. Yesterday, predictably, business was booming which meant quite a bit of foot time for Heidi. I got up early to help. I worked while she kept her foot up and cold-packed.

All in all, things were going pretty well until I decided to fix dinner. I’ve done a lot of cooking in my time but this is the first time I’ve had a convection oven. The problem with the convection oven is that it looks just like the microwave oven because it is the microwave oven.

There should have been nothing to it since I was just baking fish.

I’m not sure what happened. I think I forgot that I’d pushed the magic button that transforms the microwave into convection. The timer beeped. The fish was ready and I brushed my hand against the side of the convected-micro and fried it.

Heidi had discarded the icepack by then, so after some cold water and burn spray, I stuffed it with little baggies of frozen Ragu because cold-pack was warm.

I’m pretty stoic when it comes to pain so I was surprised by just how much the burn hurt. I was even more surprised when, a little while later, I looked down to see blood trickling down my arm. It hurt, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.

The thing about baggies of frozen Ragu is that they thaw pretty quickly when your hand is on fire. I was in such a rush to cram something in the ice-pack wrap before Heidi hopped up and hurt another toe that I didn’t notice they weren’t in a freezer bags.

Upon closer examination, I realized that it was Ragu, not blood, trickling in a sticky sweet line down my arm. While I was washing up, Heidi ended up hobbling over after all and found a bag of peas which worked much better.

For some reason all this excitement reignited my diminishing flu systems which left me in the bathroom and Heidi with no choice but to tromp in and out with her taped up toes and sandals (even though everyone else is wearing parkas again).

By 8:30, she was sleeping, the wind was roaring and the newly promoted SA Henry VIII had taken the helm. He’s unflappable under pressure and has yet to break a dewclaw or burn a whisker.

Yet this my comfort: when your words are done,
My woes end likewise with the evening sun.
― William Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors

Postscript:

I wrote this early this a.m.  Because some of you are given to worrying I wanted to wait to publish until I could add a health update:

Heidi’s toe is healing nicely and it barely hurts at all.

After a night of burn spray and peas and a day of sleep, my hand is healing nicely and it barely hurts at all.

The entire misadventure has worn Henry out. He’s sleeping in front of the fake fireplace, relieved of all Secret Agent responsibilities, and he barely remembers any of it at all. 😉

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35 thoughts on “A Very Un-Shakespearean Comedy of Errors

  1. Never entered a comment before, but there is always a first time for everything. This blog really got me going as 28 years ago, I broke my little toe and 3 bones in the side of my foot. Leg was swollen (that time) to above my knee. Treatment in the emergency room was same as Heidi’s. Thing is – the ortho I saw later in the week, said the toe would probably NEVER heal and the “seam” would never really mend! He was right – since that time, I have “re-broken” that toe FIVE times! Once on a step as Heidi and once catching it on the lip of my shower door. The last couple times, I sucked it up, immediately shoved it back into place (before the swelling started) saw stars for a minute or two from the pain and wore a post-surgical shoe for 2 or 3 days. My husband and I aspire to be a TSA at a TSL (as soon as we can sell our house). Enjoy reading your writing, one blog entertaining and the other thought provoking. THANKS!

    • Hello Debbie!
      I’m so glad you stopped by and took the time to write. Thank you! 😀
      Well, that does explain why Heidi keeps breaking that same little toe over and over.
      I’m sorry to hear about yours – much worse than what we experienced!
      You’ve already mastered lingo. Very impressive! 😉
      Thank you for reading both blogs. I’m honored.
      I look forward to hearing from you in the future. Let me know if you ever get down here in the oil fields. It would be a treat to meet!
      Debbie

  2. goodness girls – I’m like susie…chuckling while I feel your pain. Glad as is turning around and look forward to more TS stories. Praying they don’t have to include more pain! Blessings to all –

  3. This was a VERY painful post to read. I have not broken a toe before, but reading about hers caused me pain anyway. Sympathy pains, I guess. I hate to even think of stubbing my toe, which I have done. And then reading about your hand injury was more pain. I’m so glad you are getting better. I enjoy reading all your misadventures and oil rig business stuff. I hope you won’t be offended if, next time I start reading about one of your misadventures that caused you pain, I take a raincheck and visit another time. If it weren’t for all the pain and suffering, this would have been a great post. :>) Have a blessed day.

    • Sorry Steven –
      Sometimes my humor can get a little dark…
      Heidi’s toe is mostly fine already. My burn is healing nicely.
      Life is good and we’re grateful!

      • No problem. I just have a low tolerance for pain, mine or others. Seriously I’m a big baby when it comes to looking at or reading about pain and suffering. Still enjoy reading your blog and all your adventures, light or dark, good or bad. Keep those updates coming. Good to hear from you. God bless.

          • Thanks, Debbie, glad you’re better. Great post on beauty, btw. I’ve always considered beauty to be inside as well. I had to, I was not there when God was passing out the pretty faces :>) Take care and thanks for sharing.

  4. As one of the fretters, I’m glad there was a positive outcome update (that’s, POU, if Henri’s taking notes)–I LOVE Henri’s shawl!

  5. My smile for the day
    although I feel bad for smiling at you and Heidi’s expense
    Sometimes life just likes to magnify its situations, doesn’t it?
    Glad your both doing better
    ps: be sure to keep frozen veggies on hand in the future
    God Bless you both
    susie

    • Susie –
      I doubt we’ll ever eat those peas – they’re probably mostly mush now after all the thawing and refreezing. 😀
      I was hoping you’d smile as you read!

  6. Hi you two…You need to think about getting some Willard’s water. Look up drwillard.com then watch the YouTube video Willard’s Water on 60 minutes.
    I have been using Willard’s Water for 35 years now and it really works for burns.
    I have burned myself on numerous times and just sprayed the water on the burn and gone on cooking, maybe spraying one or two times more. It is an awesome
    product. Hope you both get to feeling better.

    • Hi Susie!
      We’re pretty much all healed up by now, but I’ll look into the Willard’s Water. I’ve never heard of it but it has a great name!
      I doubt this will be my last burn. 😀
      Sure hope Heidi’s done breaking that poor little toe, though!

    • Hello dear Phoebe& Hannah –
      Just another week in paradise! 😉
      All is well, truly!
      Thanks for the hugs – they helped!
      Henry is collecting your kisses. 😉

  7. My oh my, what next. I am so glad you have each other
    to take care of and Henri ! Please take care and big
    Heart Hugs your way.

    • Hey there, my friend!
      We’re something of a full time job for each other lately!
      Henry just keeps switching off laps.
      He can’t decide which of us in most in need of his special “pet therapy” talents. 😀
      Sending Heart Hugs right back at you!
      D, H & HVIII

    • Sue –
      Gosh we miss you!
      If you were here or we were there, we could all take care of each other! 😀
      Heart Hugs winging their way to the wild Oregon Coast!

  8. Sometimes I wonder how you two women make it day to day much less week to week!! LOL It is no wonder little Henry doesn’t bark, nothing seems unusual living with you two!! I must admit that I have burned myself quite a few times. I also have stubbed my toe going up the stairs but never broke anything. However, I never grabbed frozen ragu and then thought I was bleeding!! I still think you should let me come over and take care of you as it would be much more exciting than living with Mr. A in Tilden!! I can’t wait until Mr. A gets up to read this one. Every morning he asks what is new with you. This will keep him laughing all day long!! Great post my friend.

    • You know Jill, there are times when Heidi’s not entirely wild about my penchant for photo taking. This was probably one of those times but I keep telling her that if I don’t have documentation, people will think I’m making this stuff up! 😉

      Maybe, if you could just drop by for a day or two or three, you could get us on the right track?
      Of course, it could be it would take a lot longer than that and poor Mr A would get very lonely in Tildentown.

      I have no excuse for the Ragu.
      At the time (not now) my hand was really hurting and the bags of frozen chicken breasts and extra lean hamburger patties were too big.

      I gave a fleeting, longing glance at the frozen pizza which we only eat on moving days but grabbed the Ragu instead.
      I’m not sure what I would have done with the pizza, but I do really LOVE pizza so it might have made me feel better just balancing it on my hand and looking at it! 😀

  9. Oh dear . ..your fun just never ends! You poor TSA’s .. .you need some emergency relief help. I’m volunteering . ..only there is the problem of no one getting to know your TSL. argh! love and prayers for healing!
    p.s. you have me hoping I get the flu flu and not the fluke non flu, if I have to get something like that!

    • Hello Deb –
      That is a definite draw back to being a TSA on a TSL! 😉
      You’re so right, the fun just goes on and on here!
      Truly, we’re fine and grateful that all could be mended with time and tape!

  10. You have such a knack of making tragedy sound humorous. As someone that has had both broken toes, (both of my big toes, one of them twice) and burns on my hands, ………..neither is something I would wish on my worst enemy, No matter how humorous your story is. I think I might have a unique understanding of the pain involved.

    • Hello Zoe!
      We’re better and better by the minute!
      (you did see that Heidi has been out head-hunting didn’t you? so you know the pain isn’t too great!) 😉

      • I’ve heard of a natural remedy for burns…put soy sauce on it. According to the natural remedy newspaper articles my mom sends me, a number of people find it works very well. This could be your new TSR (top secret recipe) for burn relief.

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