Heigh-ho, Heidi HO

It’s been a while since I’ve written so it may take a little time to catch you up. I’ll start with Heidi HO. Heidi HO is her legal name, which she gave herself. It’s a long story…

Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s home from work we go…

Do you remember the Seven Dwarfs whistling and singing this song?

Well, it’s just like that here except there are no diamonds or rubies and we’re never off work and the lyrics are more like:

Heidi HO, Heidi HO
It’s home at work she goes…

Believe me, this woman works! And ever since the first week of February when I ripped my meniscus, she’s been working overtime, fighting the elements, the intruders and warding off the possibility of any misconceptions (I’ll get to that part in a bit).

For starters, Heidi finds multiple reason to walk around on the roof. First there were bees gathering in the vent (she had a can of hornet spray too, not just the fly swatter). Then there was the squeaky bathroom fan.

Then there were two tiny, tiny leaks.

The bees are gone. The squeak is better and the leaks are sealed but I’m sure there’ll be something else up there to check on any day now.

I’m not allowed on the roof since I fall off theΒ  steps.

And when she’s not on top of the RV, she’s often under it.

Oops, wrong legs! Too hairy. That pair belongs to our mobile RV repairman that had the less than glamorous task of replacing our grey water valve and our toilet.

This is the picture I meant to use. Heidi is very diligent when it comes to warding off the encroaching caliche, making sure our slides slide and our jacks jack and our steps don’t freeze in place.

She’s constantly baking – for us and for the guys on the rig. She bakes so much she wore out the microwave/convention oven and we had to buy a new one.

This one is scary smart. It may be even smarter than my phone. It can sense when I’m looking at it with confusion and it starts frantically flashing messages at me. Press, Set, Choose etc… This makes me nervous so I push Sensor Heat and let it have it’s way.

Heidi’s also been doing more adventurous things. There was the recon trip which included ditch diving, rolling under barbed-wire and crawling through burrs and stickers to get what she thought was a right-side-up wild bore’s head. It turned out to be an upside-down cow skull but she was still very, very proud.

You already know about the onslaught of rattlesnakes. Heidi Ho is very comfortable with a hoe. Just sayin’…

For a day or two we had a rattlesnake head coming out of the eye socket of the recently procured cow’s skull. She says: Hey, we’re just two women with a hoe a long way from nowhere. Heidi is very symbolic and loves to send “messages”. Pretty sure this is supposed to mean best not mess with me.

The problem with the snake’s head in the skull, apart from the fact that it was truly creepy, was that most likely, the resident bobcat would come at night and snatch it like he did the first one. And if not the bobcat, then a hawk or raccoon or coyote or something…

So she planted the head in a bucket (not in hopes of growing baby rattlers). We’ve been told, but are somewhat skeptical, that in the bucket the ants and things (?) will eat all but the skull which Heidi wants to add to the cow skull to make sure we’re truly sending the right message. Hmm…

It’s been there for a while now and grass is starting to grow on top. Haven’t dug any deeper yet. Last time she looked, the nose was still intact.

Heidi’s also been fending off cows with bowls of water again. I don’t know why the cows here are so adverse to water, but they are and if we don’t deter them, they munch on our fake green carpet and eat our satellite cables.

Catch you on the backside – a good ole southern saying takes on new meaning when Heidi has a bowl, or a swatter or a hoe in her hand! While Heidi’s been doing all of this and so much more, I’ve mostly just been stylin’ in Stir-Fry. More on that next time.

That’s What I’m Talkin About!

If you’re a gate guard in Louisiana, you know what I’m talkin about!

If you’ve spent much time on the Louisiana bayou or if you watch the History Channel, you know what I’m talkin about. The problem was, I was a gate guard in Texas and I didn’t know what anyone was talking about and now I know why.

The majority of the guys on Lantern 16, our initiation rig, were from Louisiana. They sounded just like Troy in this video except you need to add some chew to listen around.

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And they thought I had a Canadian accent? Really? I’m not even from northern Iowa. πŸ˜€

No wonder all that time I spent listening to CD’s on How to Speak Cowboy and reading hints on deciphering a southern drawl didn’t help a bit. I’m such a Yankee, I didn’t even know that you could travel just one state to the east and be in both an entirely different world and hear an entirely different dialect. Add to that, the guys who weren’t from LA were from Texas and Mississippi. Carrying on a conversation was like channel surfing each time a different truck came in.

If I’d watched Swamp People, even once, before we took our first job I might have known what the guys were saying! Until I happened to catch an episode last fall, I had no idea that it wasn’t the southern drawl that had me stumped, it was Cajun.

It also explains why our time with 16 was so different from any other group we’ve been with since they went back to Louisiana in June. The guys were always proudly proclaiming how they could live off the land, and clearly they could … and do.

They caught wild hogs night after night right outside my window. They hung the snare on this branch.

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It was weeks before I found out why the pigs were squealing all night long. I thought that was just what they did in Texas.:D

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The guys would skin the hogs and cook them and cheerfully share their bounty with us. They hunted squirrel and rabbit and quail. They also shared tarantulas and snakes and scorpions and frogs and anything else they could catch πŸ™‚ (Just for show and tell, not to eat)

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We expect to be in this business for quite a few more years, and I’m sure we’ll work with a lot of fine folks. I’m also sure we’ll never meet any guys quite like these bayou guys. When they said we were family, they meant it.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about! πŸ˜€