Gig on a Rig Tip #1: Be Flexible

Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.                       ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Do you remember the 1995 movie starring Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman called While You Were Sleeping? In the movie, a guy wakes up from a coma to find he has a fiance (Bullock) and a life that he doesn’t remember. He wakes up in a whole new world.

That’s a lot like working nights as a gate guard on an oil rig, except for the coma and the fiance part. I usually go to bed around 6:30 in the morning and when I wake up, 6-8 hours later, it’s very possible my world will have rotated sideways.

You get used to it like you get used to the way the Big Dipper hangs at the wrong angle in the sky down here.

For years, Heidi and I taught a seminar on change called: As Long As You’re Green You’re Growing… But As Soon As You’re Ripe You Rot.

If you’re going to be happy as a gate guard, you need to stay green.

That brings me to my first tip on a Gig on a Rig: You Have To Be Flexible

You may get a 3 week assignment that lasts for 3 months. You may go to sleep believing that you’re about to be moved to Smiley and wake up to find you’re headed 300 miles north to Paradise instead. Smiley’s a long way from Paradise!

Even though I taught seminars about it, I haven’t been a huge fan of change. There’s something comforting to me in the knowable and the predictable. Gotta tell you, this job isn’t that.

Take this past week as an example.

• I went to sleep last Thursday morning thinking I had the next 4 years all planned out, following this great rig, with these great guys, working for a great oil company

• I woke Thursday afternoon to the news that our rig was stacking, the yards and parks and campgrounds were all full and we would be out of work in a week with no place to stay

• I went to sleep Friday morning, wondering how to find a spot for the RV

• I woke up Friday afternoon to news that fellow gate guards had offered to let us stay in their spot in a lovely RV park for as long as needed (we’ve only met once) – now that’s kindness

• I went to bed Saturday morning feeling encouraged that we had a place to park

I don’t think a whole lot changed on Superbowl Sunday. I guess it did for fans of the Ravens and the 49ers, but not so much for me.

• I went to bed Monday morning  counting down the 3 days until our job ended and we left for the RV park

• I woke up Monday afternoon to the news that we had a new job, 35 miles away with our same oil company but new Company Men and drilling rig

• I went to bed Tuesday morning with plans to meet the gate guards we’d be replacing to get the lay of the land on Saturday

• I woke up Tuesday afternoon to find out we wouldn’t be done here until Sunday so we couldn’t meet anyone on Saturday

• I went to bed Wednesday morning, grateful for a new job and a few more days with this rig

• I woke up Wednesday afternoon to the news we wouldn’t be done until here until Tuesday

• I went to bed Thursday morning (yesterday) thinking the two moves were in sync since the other gate guards would be finishing up on Tuesday

• I woke up Thursday afternoon to find out that we now had two job offers – our Company Man had been given a new rig and put the call in for us to join him

• I’ll go to bed this morning knowing that we’re moving 90 miles instead of 40, that we’re moving south instead of west, that we’re rejoining the Company Man we’ve loved working with for a year now, instead of starting over with a new rig… at least I’ll go to sleep thinking that I know all that

I have no idea what I’ll wake up to this afternoon. I’ll get up, start the coffee and hold my breath until Heidi’s done filling me in on how my world has changed – While I Was Sleeping.

Another Fork In The Road

It turns out that the poem by Robert Frost that was the original inspiration for the name of this blog is a bit of a mystery.

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The Road Not Taken

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

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The only reference that I could find directly attributed to Robert Frost about the poem comes from Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference where is it quoted that he said:

One stanza of ‘The Road Not Taken’ was written while I was sitting on a sofa in the middle of England: Was found three or four years later, and I couldn’t bear not to finish it. I wasn’t thinking about myself there, but about a friend who had gone off to war, a person who, whichever road he went, would be sorry he didn’t go the other. He was hard on himself that way.

Frost’s biographer, Laurence Thompson says that, in the end, he finished the poem to poke a bit of fun at his friend, Edward Thomas’ tendency to second guess himself and inability to make up his mind about things.

You’ve likely heard The Road Not Taken, or parts of it, quoted often with many grand themes and schemes attributed to Mr Frost. That’s the funny thing about this little poem. People have taken it so terribly seriously.

That’s just what happened to me this past week. When the edict came down to all those who work for my employer (sorry that I didn’t make that clear before) to adhere to a new NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement), I took myself way too seriously.

Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously. ~ Og Mandino

I was in a two-day funk. I’m rarely in a funk at all and never in more than just a momentary funk. It’s been years since I’ve been really funky! I was feeling a lot of something: mad or sad. I’m terrible with negative emotions so I couldn’t decide which, I just knew I felt bad. 😉

I had a true bout of tunnel vision. I think I’m over myself now.

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I have pages of comments that you’ve written regarding my last two posts which I deeply appreciate. In the spirit of the NDA, I can’t publish anything relating to the company I work for or the industry I work in, so I can’t make those public – but thank you!

There are still many blogs relating to Level II Security Jobs on ranches in Texas written by those working for other companies. If that’s why you read Fork, take a look around. Don’t limit yourself to just one. As I’ve said all along, we all have different styles and experiences and no one has a corner on the truth about the job.

To once again quote the great philosopher, Yogi Berra:

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

I have and I will. I’m going to take a breather and then come back here and take another Fork in the Road and see where it leads.

If you read Fork for reasons other than my job, then let me know where you’d like to go and I’ll see what I can do. The gate is wide open!

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Lessons From a Laundromat

We made the big 1/2 mile move today. Technically yesterday. My days are really afternoons and nights. I went to bed at 10 instead of 5 a.m. and I’m oddly off kilter tonight. The move went without a hitch  (or rather, the hitch worked just swell) and we only had one minor mishap. I’ll write about that when I can think in whole sentences again.

This shot clearly was not taken anywhere near Cuero, which is our closest city (pop. 6500). I wrote this a while back on a short-lived blog I started in Oregon.

The lessons continue, even if I no longer have to go to the laundromat (oh, and I am 55 now so I hope I’ve done some changing). 😀

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I made my weekly trip to the Laundromat. Surprisingly, I was the only person who choose to spend their sunny Saturday afternoon soaking and tumbling at the Duds and Suds. Since I forgot my book, I resorted to my typical fall-back mode of ‘straightening things’. It’s actually a pretty clean laundromat, so all I could think of to do was organize – maybe even alphabetize- the magazine rack.

Shuffling the magazines, I found quite a variety of reading materials:
The Holy Bible (KJV)
Our Daily Bread
AARP
The American Legion
Allen Brother’s (The Great Steakhouse Steaks)
ACLU: At War with America
Freedom 1st
The New Yorker
Popular Science
Horses.com
Handy: The Handyman Club of America
Cigars International
Cabala’s
The Progressive Farmer
Voice of the Martyrs

My first thought was: I’ll bet the folks who donated these wouldn’t much like each other. I’m afraid the reason I thought that will become too clear in another paragraph. It’s always easy for me to make obvious, or even profound life applications for others.

There are those whom I know that read The Daily Bread that think the ACLU is the devil’s spawn (literally), and believe AARP is almost as evil. I also know folks who order from Cabala’s and have nothing but scorn for anyone who would read Popular Science.
I don’t know anyone (as far as I know) that reads The Progressive Farmer, so I have no idea how they might feel about Allen Brother’s Steaks.
But the small-minded, bigotry just jumps right out at you, doesn’t it?

And there I stood, thinking that exact thing. I started thinking about whether or not I would like the people who donated certain selections. Really, Debbie? Based on what magazines they read?

I found myself drowning in the misconception that other people should share my enlightened views. And if not, well, possibly they wouldn’t make very charming dinner companions.
Funny that I remember feeling that way at 15 and 25 and 35 and 45 and since I’m not 55 yet, maybe this is the time for a change.

Change doesn’t come as easily to me in the rest of life as it does at the Laundromat. There my old currency is converted into something shiny and useful and helpful with the power, along with just a tiny bit of potion, to cleanse and restore.

I’m ready to change. I don’t want to read a bumper sticker and think: Doubt he’d be my cup of tea or form opinions of people based on their yard signs. The rush to judgement that I have to keep in check is the sign of a very small heart  in a very large world.

Change. It’s time for some. The old still has it’s place, there’s room for so much new.

Any time I think I have the corner on the truth, it’s probably time to take a different fork in the road!

Learning Curve

I wasn’t really prepared for the learning curve. After almost a year of gate guarding, everything is new. There’s the RV of course.

There’s been a little greater learning curve with that than I’d expected.  😀

More on that another time.

I wasn’t expecting the learning curve to be quite so great simply due to switching companies.

We’re actually back where we started last December, with one oil company. But we only worked for them for 3 1/2 weeks opening and shutting a hunting gate at a Frac pond so there wasn’t much traffic. We left without ever knowing there was such a thing as a Company Man or a drilling crew.

I didn’t anticipate that everything in every area would be different. Instead of MI SWAKO and Thermac and Newpark and Deep South, we have Stage Three and Austin Chaulk and Rig Runners and Spitfire. I didn’t realize how well I knew, not just the guys, but all the service companies and sales folks. I’m right back to asking everyone what it is that they do again.

But, no Vicky, I no longer think they’re saying ALL and make them spell it. ALL OIL comes up quite a bit in this business. 😉

These are some things that are the same, so far:

There’s a lot of traffic which gets real close to the RV.

The internet/cell tower is far away. Apparently the farthest it’s ever been since I can rarely get on-line, can’t get into my gmail or on FB and all our calls keep dropping.

It’s suppose to be 86 today so the air conditioner is still running.

Halliburton means cement (not only cement, but for sure cement) and Halliburton apparently has a corner on the market down here.

We were blissfully almost caliche free in Wharton. Once again, there’s so much caliche that I wait to dust until about 30 minutes before Heidi gets up or she won’t be able to tell it and then I won’t get any credit. 😉

The cows are still curious. Today they tried to eat the air hose for the bell (you can see this young steer holding it in his mouth just before Heidi threw a bowl of water on him). Later, the curious cows picked up the fake grass carpet, hoping for a snack. They ended the evening tangled in the cable lines temporarily un-satelliting us.

The good new is 8 straight nights with no mice!

Many of you are just getting started at gates. If you don’t have a blog and want to share your experience here, let me know if you’d like to guest post. If you have a blog and want to be on the gate guard blog roll at Fork, let me know and I’ll add you.

Again, I can’t get on-line often here in Westhoff – we must be on the wrong side of the hill, but I’ll post when I can, unless the cows find a way to climb up and get the booster antennae, too!

Mission Statements Out… Mottos In

When I moved to Texas and became a Level 2 Security Guard, I prayed that God would use birds to restore and encourage me. (Telling God how to operate…I know.) I’m thrilled to say that my prayers have been granted. Today I was lured outside by a Long-billed Thrasher, which I’d never seen or heard. This is it. You might have to use your imagination as it was early and cloudy.

Long-billed Thrasher

Compare that with last year at this time. I was about to turn 59 and having chest pains from anxiety. I had taken a writing and consulting job at a small beach resort in southern Oregon. That torpedoed into Asst Mgr in less than 2 weeks. I found myself in charge of far more than the proposed freelance ideas: social networking, mission statement, newsletters, and office forms.

Being an incurable problem solver, I was like a bee during pollination! So many flowers, so little day light. I had lost my goal. The whole idea of living full-time in the 32 foot RV was to escape the hectic professional life and simplify. Leaving the resort management position and becoming a gate guard has helped me regain the focus on simplicity.

After leaving Oregon, I wrote this post on the topic of RVing compared to bricks and mortar. Simplify is my chosen motto. It doesn’t suit my busy bee ambition very well, but I’m learning to modify the revving of my inner drive for accomplishment. My new life focus is to find ways of slowing down, reducing stress. I even like the way it sounds: simplify.

For years the word had taunted me. I read magazine articles about it, Googled it, bought books on the topic. It called me.

One year Debbie bought this Good Life* tee shirt as a gift for my birthday. I’m convinced it helped unclutter my life and spur me on in a new direction. Imagine cleaning your garage and stopping to wipe the sweat from your face when you look down and see this on your chest…

I don’t have the Adirondack chair in the RV, so how do I simplify?

Reducing the excess helps me simplify. I can focus on the essentials without being distracted by excess. In the RV, I quickly learned to keep only what was necessary. I have 3 skillets and two pans. Period. In my Iowa house that I’ve rented to friends, I had a whole cupboard of pots and pans. I still used only a few of those. Excess creates confusion and clutter.

Working the early morning hours helps me simplify. One of the riggers, a geological guy with two college degrees says he loves to work at night because people don’t bug him, there’s very little traffic around the rig and he doesn’t get distracted. I get that. I try to finish blogging before 8 when the gate traffic picks up.

Not having to multi-task helps me simplify, slows my mind. Being a gate guard at an oil rig can be fast-paced, but it happens in spurts, so I never become exhausted. It also never seems overwhelming because I’m not trying to answer the phone, prepare for a meeting, and be creative at the same time that someone walks through my office door and demands my attention. The job description of gate guarding is so basic. Get the information, get it down on the clipboard and let them in or out. I’ve rarely had a challenge.

I tried to think of one as an example and it took a while. That’s encouraging! Okay. One rough-neck wasn’t thrilled with having to stop at the gate and check in so one day he just buzzed on through. That same guy found me in the middle of the road the next time he wanted to leave the site. We came to an ‘understanding’ and now we’re on good terms. That’s easy to explain. ‘Don’t ignore the English teacher!’ It’s a former motto!

* I have obtained permission to use Good Life product pictures in my blogging as long as I make it clear they are not subsidizing me and that although we share a love for optimism, the views I express are mine, not necessarily theirs.

Frost and Fork

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost

Since we named our blog from a line in this, one of the most famous poems ever published, I thought I’d comment on the misuse of it. I was reading some modern commentaries about Frost (how do you think I made it through college as an English Major?) and realized what I’d forgotten about it.

Unlike the graduation cards that recite parts of this poem, the road less traveled by is not less worn, evidenced in because it was grassy and wanted wear; though as for that, the passing there had worn them really about the same.

The telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence actually is the author’s forecast of telling an untrue version of the walk in the woods. He is saying that in the retelling he will dress it up a bit, poetic license, if you will, gives him the right to say that he chose the one less traveled by. In fact, they were equally untrodden…. hmm.

For two grandmas who left the Midwest in 2008 in an RV, we’ve maybe chosen the path less traveled but it wasn’t because Frost or because M. Scott Peck made a fortune with a turn of the phrase, however inaccurate… but for other reasons.

What’s reasons, you ask? I don’t know. Let’s ask Debbie tonight when she takes night duty again. (When she gets up. She sleeps during the days while I guard the gate.)

Why Gate Guard in Texas?

I’ve been drawn to the simple life as long as I can remember.

“In the popular mind, the phrase simple living has often been associated with self-denial… In reality the phrase can just as easily be associated not with what is lost, but with what is gained.” Frank Levering.

It’s not what I had to lose that got me here, it’s what I hoped I’d gain.

• No yard work means I’m picking the wildflowers and weeds from beside the road and in fields.
• No basement, attic or garage means I’m free to make organization under the RV into art form.
• No critical or nosy neighbors means I can be pleasant to everyone at the gate because they are transients like me and we’re not placing expectations on each other.
• No walls to paint or wallpaper to strip means I can focus on the symbolic and treasured art I’ve chosen to hang in the RV.
• No evenings planning ‘fix-it’ lists because I can fix things quickly or I call someone to help us.
• No snow to scoop or leaves to rake means I have joy in taking pictures of the seasonal changes.
• No bushes to trim or gardens to weed means I have fun collecting bits of nature and putting them outside on the bench or picnic table.
• No holidays to plan means that whenever I want I have time call my son and my mom and I have time to pray for them during their hectic seasons or their crises.
• No large surfaces to clear means my stuff is right where it should be and easy to find.
• No bookshelves, display cases or end tables means I can rotate all my precious things and focus on them.
• No weekends spent housecleaning because it takes 15 minutes or less to completely vacuum and pick up.
• No dust collecting for weeks in a spare room. Now it takes 5 minutes to dust the whole RV.
• No storage sheds to rent and sort out means I give my extra things to people along the way.
• Fewer chores means I have time for writing, reading and praying.
• DVR and direct TV means I never watch TV by accident anymore. I have time to listen to the birds.
• No big closets or cupboards means I know where everything goes and I have only what I need or love.

Not attending to what matters little so I can gain freedom to do what matters most.

Life Is Good: Simple words from Jake and Rocket

Simplify. I could fall back into that word like a child leaning into a hammock: Swinging and gliding gently to rest.

What I Want In Life Part 2: The 4 B’s

This is the second part of the post, 12 Things You Want In Life

The first person to try it wrote me and thanked me for giving her a much-needed opportunity to focus on herself for a few minutes. Maybe you need a reason to do that as well.

Here are my results:

 

What I want In Life

1. The chance to research
   
2. Time for prayer
3. To see green growing things
4. To experience joy with peace
5. To talk to friends
6. To listen to God
   
7. To sit in a window seat
8. To hear the sounds of birds
   
9. The freedom to read
10. The inspiration to write
11. Take occasional trips
    
12. To frequently have change
13. To feel serenity
    
14. To eat the 4 B’s (bread, butter, brown sugar and beans)

How did others answer?

Interestingly, I heard from both my 7^th grade boyfriend who wanted to experience firing a 1928 Thompson sub-machine gun and my high school boyfriend who wanted to fly his plane every week. The one colleague who responded said she would like to experience one day of being pain-free. I added her to my prayer list. A friend from junior high said she would like to spend time with a family member without having to be nervous about it. Someone from my family wants to frequently eat really good food (she’s a gourmet cook) and have enough time to exercise the calories off her thighs. Another friend wrote she would like to listen to many people tell their stories.

It seems the value of the exercise is taking the opportunity to look at what direction you would like your life to take.  Socrates is the one who said, “A life unexamined is not worth living.”

Go ahead, try doing the exercise. You might even be surprised at the answers that first pop into your head. One person took the quiz twice. Once for reactions and once for thought-out answers.

I developed the exercise because a close friend challenged me to list what I wanted in life. I then typed a list as quickly as possible. Maybe you would like to do that instead of the fill in the blank approach. I’m just hoping to encourage those who are able, to look at their life before it’s over!

When you’re on your deathbed, if you have a chance to reflect and don’t die instantly, what are you going to say to those who still seem to have plenty of time left on this earth? “I wish I had spent more time …What? And will it be anything that you did today or yesterday?

Have you tried the exercise yet? I’d love to hear from you. My email is listed in the Contact page. Let me know.

12 Things You Want In Life

I Like Change and I Change Likes. Do You?

Here’s a little exercise I designed to help you reflect on your life. The first person to try it wrote me and thanked me for giving her a much needed opportunity to focus on herself for a few minutes. Maybe you need a reason to do that as well.

What I What I Want In Life

1. The chance to ___
2. Time for ___
3. To see ___
4. To experience ___
5. To talk to ___
6. To listen to ___
7. To sit ___
8. To hear ___
9. The freedom to ___
10. The inspiration to ___
11. Take occasional ___
12. To frequently ___

What are the things you absolutely must have in this life in order to feel that you have lived the life you were meant to live?

I’ve had some interesting experiences with this. I emailed it to absolutely everyone that I thought might participate. Very few people actually did. From this I could only guess at the reasons. There are those that have already done something like this (ex: What Color Is Your Parachute) and don’t need to look at it again Some people don’t want to focus on what they have and don’t have in life. Some just don’t like to be analytical. Others are too busy living life to question it. A few might not want to face the answers. Others have a lot of reasons why they can’t live the life they always wanted.

“People either have results in their lives or the reasons why they don’t” from the business card of Bonnie Andrkopoulos as quoted in Living Simply.

I’ve always liked to ask myself, “How should my life be different?” I like change and I change likes. It works for me.

Take # 6. What I liked at 20 isn’t remotely what I like now. I would have said I like to listen to very loud Simon and Garfunkel, in my 30’s it was loud Billy Joel and so on. Now? Very loud bird songs and nature music, but only because I don’t hear as well anymore. Go figure.

Take # 5 Who do you like to talk to or who would you like to talk to? I would always have answered that with God. When I was very little, I played on a large moss-speckled rock in the woods just out of sight of my mom at the campsite in Northern Minnesota, south of Ely. God and I played house with pine cone food and leaves for dishes. My idea, I’m pretty sure, but He talked and I talked and it was great fun. Now I call it prayer.

So some answers change and some stay the same for me.

“Many of us go through life not clear about what we want but pretty sure this isn’t it.” Janet Hagberg and Richard Leider

You can answer this in the comment section here or email me privately. I’d love to hear from you. My email is listed in the About page. Let me know.

The Case for Change and Cheese Part 2

As far back as I can remember, I always embraced change. I read someplace that without change, creativity is snuffed. That might explain the surge of creativity or personal boost that people experience during a retreat or while surfing or mountain climbing.

Different Perspective

Makes sense. Debbie and I wrote most of our best material at any location away from the office. When we were at our desks, the expected things happened. Creativity dried up. One of our most popular classes Bullies, Backstabbers, Braggarts and Banshees was outlined at a buffet! (We called it the Royal Gorge) That spark of ideas ignited a 6 hour class that was fun to teach and easy to write. In fact, most of our communication classes were written on retreat at Our Lady of the Mississippi Abbey. We would go there twice a year: in the Spring for ministry to clean the Stone House and in the Fall to have a spiritual retreat and start the outlines for our next class. Even during the Spring over fumes of vinegar and dish soap, we would be bouncing new ideas around.

So geographical change can invigorate and inspire creativity. But, I’m convinced, can do so only if we embrace it. My mom said, “Every time I move I look for something that I just love about the new place, even if I didn’t want to leave the old one. Before long, I’m really happy in the new place.” I’ve tried to apply that to more than geographical changes.

I want to be sure you know that I don’t believe all change is good. We can agree on that. Also, too many changes leads to instability and lack of progress. I once worked at a job where the staff stayed the same but the job description was in constant flux. It not possible to grow strong or perform well with incessant change.

Starting back into the maze from Part 1, I didn’t identify with Hem and we aren’t supposed to really like his whiny self. I could better understand Haw. His reaction was slow, but gradually he realized that he didn’t want to keep repeating the same behaviors and getting the same results, so he had to look at other options in the same maze. I’ve had to ask myself, where can I find cheese, aside from the same old corner?

I’m convinced it’s one reason I love living in my RV. I get to experience change more often than when I lived in my little house in the city. I meet new friends, eat new foods, see new places and hear new thoughts and ways of speaking. Right now I’m in the deep south and being a Yankee English teacher, I have no idea how they understand each other. With the drawl, the consonants are softened and drawn out till I have to have them spell things!

So change has it’s challenges. But I respect Haw for searching elsewhere for his daily cheese intake.

So far we have Hem, who complains about the missing cheese, keeps repeating his same daily trek down the maze to the same empty corner day after day. And we have Haw, who eventually starts to explore the maze and look for new cheese in another corner.  He, by the way, is an incessant scribbler and vandalizes the walls of the maze with bits of wisdom. I want to buy him a notepad or get him a smart phone so he can keep his notes handy. So Haw learns gradually to try new things and finds new cheese.

In this parable of the moving cheese, I would like to make a case for the missing character, Hee. Instead of refusing to look elsewhere for cheese, like Hem or look for new cheese, like Haw, this new character (a girl!) could take a leadership role and develop her own line of cheese or even find a new diet instead of cheese!

Of course Hee will be criticized by Hem for not ‘sticking it out’ and might be called any number of things: rebel, starry-eyed dreamer, or a quitter. Hee will be told that if she wants real change, she should stay and fight for it. (Change within is understood to be better than change from without.) Doesn’t that sound like Hem? He would be angry and hurt and disillusioned with her. She will no doubt be unfriended by Hem.

Haw, on the other hand may be open-minded enough to want to stay in touch and will continue to be friends on Facebook. Eventually Haw may even want to sample the new cheese from Hee’s company. I could even imagine Haw might submit a resume to Hee at some point after he’s worked through his resentments from the past.

So we have Hem and Haw, in many ways typical Flighters: those who run from change or those who go along with it and adapt well but don’t strike out on their own. The remarkable difference in Hee comes from being an independent thinker, not a follower. She’s most likely a Fighter. That’s the character I could identify with. Sadly, she’s not in the original parable, but she’s in this story and she’s still a character. She’s me.