I Dress Like Steve Jobs

Lately, I’ve started dressing like Steve Jobs. I have no idea why. I work at night, so it may not be my wisest decision. Of course, I don’t wear the turtleneck. I do live in Texas.

Maybe I’ve taken to wearing all black because I don’t like making decisions? It could that after a year and a half of living in the South, I’m channeling Johnny Cash, who was the original Man in Black.

I own 2 pairs of jeans. I guess I’m saving the blue ones for special occasions and laundry days. Every non-laundry day, I don my black jeans and black t-shirt and black tennis shoes (with the glow in the dark, trim).

It’s always the badly dressed people who are the most interesting.  ~Jean Paul Gaultier

I’ve even switched to black earrings. They’re bigger, but blendier, so I’m not sure they’ll be any easier to find, but they’d be impossible to swallow! 😀

I have a lot of traffic at night these days. I maybe should rethink my wardrobe (I do have 3 other t-shirts to choose from). It’s possible that black isn’t the best idea when you have 100 ton trucks barreling at you in the dark.

Some barrel. Then there are some, like Steven, who works for Cajun Water Services. He came in so slowly that I had time to brush my teeth between the bell and his arrival. And, he apologized for kicking up so much dust. Nice guy. He’s a keeper cloner! Don’t we wish!

Mark Twain worries me. I don’t know whether to take comfort in this or not?

Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.  ~Mark Twain

This quote came to mind because of the story Frank (not his real name just in case this gets him in trouble) told me last night. Frank got lost sometime between 2-3 a.m. He pulled up to the gate and waited… and waited. According to him, not only was the gate guard sleeping on the job, she apparently had done quite a bit of imbibing to carry her into dream land. I don’t know which company she works for. All I know is that if that’s the norm, she definitely should wear something, but probably not all black.

At least when my seemingly disembodied greying head, floats out to the road above the my bright orange vest, I know I’m there. 😉

Security Vest Orange isn’t like Tangerine Orange or Cantaloupe Orange – it’s 60’s shag carpet Orange. I look like a cross between an escaped high security inmate and a Home Depot employee.

People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile.  ~Lee Mildon

I can only hope… 😀

Year in Review Part 10 – A Short Recap of Texas Speak

OK, y’all are too funny (see how thoroughly acclimated I am now – I can say y’all (which can also be spelled ya’ ll)  just like a native Texan. 😀

Reading the comments on yesterday’s post, One Year of Sharing, was kind of like going to my own funeral, where everyone says only the nice things.  😀

It was great and I’m not even dead yet!  Thank you! It looks like it’s going to take me a month just to recap the year. This is just a little side post addressing the difficulties some Yankees find when first settling in the South.

While I’m pretty good with y’all, I”m still struggling to communicate. It’s gotten better than it was back in Tilden when I made Willie, who looked exactly like Danny Glover about 25 years ago, spell all (oil) and I asked the Toe (Tool) Pusher to spell truffles (Trend Files).

Then there were entire paragraphs that I missed:

I disremembered  zactly cept all that tawk near made yuar heya turn. Y ‘all might could jus say that ah dent felt lack fahtn, sewed ahd get outta thar lacka kay-yut with wangs.

In  Yankee speak that would be: I can’t remember exactly, except that all that talk could  almost make your hair turn white. The hair turning white was explained to me later. You could say that I didn’t feel like fighting so I got out of there like a cat with wings!

It’s really much more interesting to hear them tell it!

To complicate things, only half of our guys were from Texas. The other half were from Louisiana – which is an entirely different world of phonetic interpretations!

The easy part of Texas talk was the universal dropping of the g. I had no problems with walkin and talkin and riggin and swiggin. At first I thought the g was dropped as a type of conversational economy to get straight to the point. Nope. For starters, there wasn’t always a point, and secondly, little words are made bee-yug (big). Many one syllable words are turned into two: rig is ree-yug, cat (as in the sentence above) is kay-yut and I swear I’m the only person in Texas who talks fast.

There are words that are reversed like fill and feel. You fill good. You feel the truck with gas.

Our Texans seem to especially not like the letter i no matter what word it was in:

Ahma tell him that it were rangin (ringing)  and the welder is brangin (bringing) toes (tools) ta get at er. Hesa  fixin ta bah (buy) thangs (things) in town but nahn tahms (nine times) outa tan (ten), it’ll tay-yak em fowar (four) shots.

Just to be clear, these are smart guys. It isn’t that they couldn’t speak well, it’s just that I just didn’t know what they were saying. When I used to have to ask the guys to spell everything, not only did they think I was nuts, but it didn’t really help since I couldn’t understand their spelling much better than their talking. I finally just gave up and guessed. I was wrong a lot! You do develop an ear for it after a while. It helps a lot if there isn’t too much Copenhagen.

The communication problems cut both ways. They can’t understand me either. Take last night, for example. One of the guys asked me where the truck went (not where I went, but where the truck went) and I said:

Oh, I just went to Cuerro to get drugs. Really Debbie, did you just say that?

I need to learn to leave out the personal details, but if I really had to share, I could have said that I went to Walmart to pick up a prescription.  And I think they talk funny…

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. ~ Mark Twain

Looks like it’s time to move this retelling of tales from Shiner to Smiley.  Don’t you just love all the happy names they give these little towns? It was in Smiley that our real adventures began. More on that soon!